Have you ever tried to convince yourself that you get to do something you absolutely hate—and then felt like you were failing at gratitude when it didn’t magically change how you felt? In this episode, we’re talking about why this popular mindset advice can turn into self-gaslighting, and what to do instead. I’m sharing a kinder, more practical perspective shift that can help you move through resentment, appreciate your life as it is right now, and find genuine gratitude without pretending you enjoy things you simply don’t. Because you’re allowed to hate doing the dishes—and still love the life those dishes are part of.

In this episode, we’re talking about:

• Why “I get to” doesn’t always create genuine gratitude

• How toxic positivity and self-gaslighting can make resentment feel even worse

• The difference between appreciating your life and forcing yourself to enjoy every task

• A simple mindset shift that changed how I approach the things I dread

• How your everyday perspective affects your energy, manifestation and the life you’re creating

• Finding something real to appreciate without dismissing your honest feelings

Listen on Apple

Listen on Spotify

TRANSCRIPT

0:00

If you're trying to be more grateful and you've heard the advice, stop saying you have to do something.

Turn that around to you get to do something.

And if that hasn't worked for you, it's because that advice is flawed, incomplete, and it makes you gaslight yourself.

0:19

In this episode, I'm going to share with you a different, more kind and practical way to shift your perspective so that you can actually feel grateful.

You can actually stop resenting the things in your life that you have to do.

0:35

A big one for me was dishes and actually start looking forward to those things.

I know, I know, I shit you not.

This shift is that I'm going to share with you will make that possible.

So grab a drink, get comfy and let's get into it.

0:54

The secret to living a happy life is actually pretty simple.

You just need to learn to hear, trust, and follow your inner guidance above anything else.

But the problem is a lot of us, myself included.

Hi, I'm Carolina, by the way.

1:09

We live in our heads or we're super emotional.

We're following someone else's rules, standards, or beliefs unintentionally, and we're not hearing our guidance properly, if at all.

This show is about aligning your energy, learning to hear your inner guidance louder than your mind, and having the courage to say no thanks.

1:30

Unsubscribe to anything that doesn't match that.

I'm doing this exact thing in my life and I believe all our dreams are possible for us if we follow this simple formula.

Welcome to the No Thanks Unsubscribe podcast.

1:56

Hello, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to today's episode.

Can we just take a second to be like, this is episode 70, like 70 showing up 7 zero times.

To share my heart, to share my soul, to share the advice that I have learned in my life with you.

2:17

The things that have actually worked, the things that haven't worked, the life stories, all the things.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you so, so, so much for being here.

I love doing this show.

And even though life has gone up and down and I've had to make pauses and shifts and the show has grown the way I have grown.

2:38

Because really, around here we subscribe to the belief that life is not linear.

You are always going to be growing and shifting and changing, which is why things like the name of the show have shifted and evolved and cool.

2:57

That's awesome.

I want you to grow in your life.

I want all of us to grow in our lives.

We don't look the same that we did when we were three years old, and we don't look the same today as we will when we're old and Gray.

So life is meant to shift and grow and evolve.

3:15

So do the thing, change the thing, make the changes.

Say no thanks.

Unsubscribe to the things that are not working for you anymore.

Boy, bye.

Get out of here.

You're gone.

Don't let the door actually let the door hit you on the way out.

Like leave, you know, like we're taking charge of our lives around here.

3:36

And we have been doing that for 70 episodes.

So we're taking a moment to celebrate because that's another thing that we subscribe to around here is celebrating the little things in life.

And also like, we should be celebrating every single episode.

3:51

Like we're not even celebrating the big round numbers.

Like whoever decided that round numbers are the ones that we have to celebrate?

Like I remember one year my birthday used to be a really big thing for me.

Now I don't celebrate it in the traditional way, but one of my biggest birthday parties was when I turned to 24, like not a number that anyone typically celebrates at all.

4:16

But that year I was like, I'm going to have a circus theme party.

I found this thing on Pinterest where you can take tablecloths and like from the dollar store, like different colours.

And I had, the colour scheme was red, yellow, orange.

4:34

And so I had a red tablecloth, a yellow tablecloth, an orange tablecloth.

And you pinned the mall in the centre of the room and then you drape them outwards and then your room looks like you're under the big top.

And so like that was pretty awesome.

I had the same coloured streamers that I had in doorways.

4:50

So you have to like walk through these streamers to go in.

And then of course they had same matching colour balloons.

And because, you know, ambience is just as important as anything else.

Guess list probably #1 you have to have the most awesome people at your parties, which I always have had two ambiance.

5:08

And it's not just a core.

It's like decor and food and music.

Like it's all it's a vibe.

It all makes the vibe.

O anyway that was huge.

5:24

We also played pin the tail on the elephant.

Like it was so fun.

Like at 24 years old you're like, let's get blindfolded, let's be drunk and spin around and like try this shit.

Like anyway, it was so fun.

And that was just a random year.

Like I didn't do anything when I turned 40.

5:42

Well, I did like I went to the spa for the day, but like my birthday now is like I'm doing things for me.

I'm that day is for me.

Don't message me that day.

I'm busy doing me.

Like I don't want to sit there and get back to you.

5:58

It's my day.

If you see me in person, absolutely, 100% wish me if you talked to me earlier in the week, later in the week, I don't even care.

Absolutely.

I have a whole episode on this.

Also how like who decided that our birthday is where the sun was the day we were born?

6:13

Like what about where the moon was?

The moon's always moving and I resonate more with the moon.

So like I've been celebrating myself from my moon day until my birthday which I'm calling like my Sunday and so like that shifts every year.

Like last year I did that and I had like 3 weeks of celebrations.

6:32

This year I did that and I only had like 4 days because the moon is always like moving anyway so fun celebrate all the times, all the years, all the everythings.

But because today is episode 70 and I absolutely forgot to make 69 jokes hearing episode 69, we're celebrating episode 70 because it is front of mind today.

6:55

Round numbers.

Plus I saw so many 77 sevens the other day, so maybe 7 is just front of mine.

And right now I'm at number.

Oh man, I'm at time 7.

Like as I record, there's like a timer that goes and I'm at 7 minutes since the episode started.

7:15

What?

There's sevens everywhere. 7 Anyway, welcome to today's show.

We subscribe to ranting a little bit on this show, but we absolutely deliver on what we promise around here that is coming to you coming in hot.

7:35

Speaking of hot, it is such a beautiful day here.

It let's celebrate that it is July in Canada.

It is a beautiful day where it's like warm, but it's not too hot, but it's like hot in the sun, but the wind is blowing from the north, so the breeze is nice and cool.

7:51

So it is absolutely fucking beautiful out.

What do you have to be grateful for?

Tying into the theme of the episode, These are little things to be grateful for.

Grateful for showing U for yourself for 70 episodes.

Grateful for all of you for being here.

8:07

Grateful for this beautiful sunny day.

I'm looking outside because I have the window open.

No, the windows not open.

The curtains are open.

I can see blue sky with a few sprinkles of clouds.

It's beautiful.

It's absolutely beautiful.

8:22

What do you have in your present moment right now that you can actually be grateful for shifting your perspective?

That's the whole point of today's episode.

And that's the whole point of that advice.

That advice is not malicious.

8:39

They're trying to get you to shift your perspective because the whole point of the advice, the whole point of having an attitude of gratitude is so that you are shifting your core vibration to be grateful.

8:57

And you're not really doing that if you're focused on the things that you hate about your life.

Like maybe you're in the car right now, maybe there's traffic.

You're not denying the fact there's traffic.

9:13

You're just focusing on something else.

You're focusing on the thing that brings you joy.

And when you can focus on those things, it shifts your vibration.

And when your core vibration shifts, that's when you start attracting things in your life.

That's when you start attracting your dreams.

9:30

That's when you start attracting magic and miracles.

And like I do every morning, my easy and amazing practice, Like how can life be easy and amazing?

Like I always get green lights now, and when I get a red light, it's usually a blessing because I needed a moment to pause or I needed to put on hand cream and the red light was the perfect amount of time to do that.

9:52

Or I wanted to take a sip of my drink or I wanted to change the song.

And it's all safer to do when you're stopped at a red light, like it's viewing things from that lens and it's not taking something you hate and justice speaking about it in the in an opposite way.

10:10

It's the same thing that they do when they talk about affirmations.

You can't just start saying I'm a millionaire when you're not, when you've lived a life of money scarcity and not having enough and worrying how you're going to pay your bills and worrying where that's going to come from.

10:28

Your, your intention when you shift to its affirmation that you have money, that you're a millionaire, your intention is to shift your vibration.

OK, great.

But if you're not addressing the things, the underlying beliefs, the underlying worry, and you're still low-key worrying, but you're just saying something else, you're nervous system is in this stress response because it's like we're not a millionaire.

10:50

We're worrying about our money and then your body is doubling down on the worry because you haven't calmed that part of yourself before shifting.

And that's the problem with this advice.

And and not only that I'm going to get into this later, but it is 1,000,000% OK to not like things in your life.

11:11

So for someone to tell me that, oh, you get to do your dishes because there are people out there who don't get to eat and you're.

So you should be grateful that have something to eat.

Absolutely fucking not.

11:26

That is not how this works.

You are literally in that framework, shaming yourself into putting someone else's reality into your life and being like, well, this is this is the shit that we get brought down from the boomers that we have to deal with where it's like, oh, well, you should just be fucking grateful for all the shit you have.

11:47

It's like, yes, in practice that makes sense, but that comes from a place of where they have to suck it up and deal with the stuff they have.

But we're here because we're trying to manifest, We're trying to change our lives.

We're doing trying to do something else.

12:03

And that way of living, that boomer mentality way of living has kept me stuck for two decades and no thanks.

Unsubscribe.

I'm done.

I have been learning how to like calm my nervous system, how to let that shit go, how to use sound and somatic work to really shake all that free.

12:26

And now I'm actually able to feel calm when I think about a lot of these things.

And I've actually found practical ways, like I promised you in the intro of this episode, that you can actually shift your perspective.

So we're going to get into that.

12:44

We are going to 1st pick a card 4.

Our intuitive guidance for this episode we are using per ushe The Universe Has Your Back Deck by Gabrielle Bernstein.

13:05

I really love this deck.

I really love the artwork.

What does the collective need to know today?

Who this is flying out?

Let's see, there's two here.

I always ask my intuition.

I connect with her and then she tells me which ones, right?

13:21

I hold each one.

Yep, it's this one.

Well, pretty.

There's a Hummingbird on this.

Not traditional coloured Hummingbird either.

13:36

It's blue.

I don't know if blue.

It's almost like a Navy.

I don't know if Navy is significant to someone out there in the collective, but this says the more energy and intention I bring to my faith, the more fearless and free I am.

13:52

That's fun.

There's a lot of stars around this Hummingbird, too.

What does this mean, Spirit?

What does this mean to you?

Take a deep breath in, feel into gravity.

14:14

Grounding yourself was the first thing that came to you when you heard that message.

The more energy and intention I bring to my faith, the more fearless and free I am.

I feel like we can bring this into the message of today's episode.

14:34

The energy and the intention we're bringing in is that attitude of gratitude.

We're shifting our energy and our intention into an energy that's actually going to align us with their dreams rather than settling for things in life, which is what that old adage or old expression or whatever that's called is actually doing for us.

15:03

And then what that creates the second-half of the card is the more fearless and free I am.

Absa fucking lutely.

When you don't go around hating the things you have to do in your life, you do feel so much more free.

You do feel so much more abundant and then you end U feeling more grateful because you're like wow there's so much less pressure in my life let's fucking go.

15:27

OK, so 2 ground and align our energy into today's theme.

I have selected the solar plexus tuning fork.

I feel like when I feel any kind of resentment towards something, that's where I kind of carry it.

15:47

In the middle of of my chest I guess.

Well, not my chest in the middle of my midsection anyway, I'm I'm not a a body parts major.

16:04

So right, right where your solar plexus is, that's where I feel it.

So I selected the solar plexus fork to help align that for us.

So why don't you go ahead and get comfy?

As always, only participate in this if it is safe for due to do so.

16:25

This will be about 5 minutes, so skip ahead.

If you're not in a place, come back to it later if it is safe to do so.

Closing down your eyes, taking a deep breath in through the nose, exhaling through the mouth, feeling into gravity, feeling the weight of your body on the seat beneath you, or feeling your feet on the ground, feeling that connection you have with gravity, that pull that gravity has towards you.

17:07

Focusing on your breath as we go through this.

This is meant to calm your nervous system.

Relax everything.

You might feel some movement, That's OK, let it out.

And as you go through, maybe set the intention that anything that you're resenting, allow that to come through so we can work through it this episode.

17:33

And maybe you can allow it to be carried away on the vibrations of this fork today.

If it's something that's ready to go, it'll probably go.

And if it's not bringing it front of mind so that you can have that awareness as we move through this episode, that's going to be helpful too.

17:53

So relaxing, focusing on your breathing, and we will begin.

23:11

Coming back into this space, maybe wiggling your fingers and toes, waking back up the body, taking another deep breath in through the nose and exhale.

23:33

Let's take a sip of our drinks.

What do we have to drink today?

I have a fabulously delicious peppermint tea with honey.

Please put some honey in my tea.

23:51

So good.

I get that nature only honey from Costco.

So good.

It's like organic.

So good.

All right, let's get into it.

24:12

I have always heard this advice.

Stop saying you have to do something.

OK, fair.

There's validity in that advice.

It's showing you that you have this resentful attitude if you start.

24:31

I always say start with awareness.

Be aware of the things you say.

Be aware of the things you think.

If you're trying to change your life, that is where it starts.

There are so many advice, like so many people out there sharing advice, myself included, and they skip this step like, and there's you're missing the how the first step in making any change is awareness.

24:58

You can't make the change unless you're aware.

And so this kind of advice where people are saying stop saying you have to, that is the universe echoing to you.

Oh, I'm saying things like I have to stop there.

25:16

Stop there and justice start noticing it quicker and quicker.

Make it your job to start noticing.

Don't try and change anything yet.

Just start noticing because you can't make any changes until you notice it in the moment.

25:32

And I even feel like when I go to therapy, they skip that part too because we all want to change.

You're wouldn't be listening to the show if you didn't want change.

You wouldn't be listening to any other advice out there if you didn't want change.

And we all want change now, which is why people put so much stock in like winning the lottery, because they want their life to change in an instant.

25:51

And your life can change in an instant.

But I don't think we are meant to change everything in an instant.

Sometimes our sole contract needs to do the work.

Sometimes you got to do the work.

And part of that is noticing that you've been saying, I have to probably because you've been conditioned to say it, because the people around you say it, the people in your life have said it.

26:19

And so you picked it up.

It's not your fault.

It's just became your habit.

So when you're going to change a habit, you can't change that habit until you are aware in the moment.

Like, you can say that you're going to start saying I love my life and I love everything in it, but your default habit is not to do that.

26:36

And so this is where like the gaslighting comes in.

And I am not about to set you up for failure.

I have done that for two decades.

So no thanks.

Unsubscribe, let's go.

Like I always felt like a failure when I was like, OK, people are telling me to stop saying I have to do something cool.

26:58

And then I would try it.

And if it wasn't front of mind every single day, I just fell back into my old habits.

That's why people quit New Year's resolutions and things because they fall back into their old habits.

Because I mean, there's a whole host of reasons for that, but one of them could be that it's just not front of mind every single day and habits or habits for a reason, They are your comfort zone.

27:26

And it's not that you necessarily chose them.

And that's OK.

And that's where stuff like this brings you that awareness so that you can make this shift.

And I wish there was someone like me that I had been able to listen to back in the day.

27:42

Maybe that would have speed things up for me because all I felt was shame whenever people were like, stop saying you have to do it.

And it's just like, I don't know how I read all these books.

I went to these courses, I did these seminars, I was doing therapy, and then all kinds of different therapy like art therapy, talk therapy, somatic therapy, craniosacral therapy, sound therapy, like everything.

28:08

And it wasn't until I started taking the pressure off and started becoming aware that I actually was like, OK, And I noticed myself because you're just being aware and you're just noticing.

And so you're like, OK, And I started noticing and it was like two weeks later, I'd be like, oh shit, I did that thing.

28:26

Oopsie.

And then I would notice like a week later, like it wasn't that quick, but like it was gradual and like, OK.

And then I would notice like the next day and I'm like, OK, this is awesome.

Look at this progress.

And then I would notice like an hour later.

And then I'm now at a place and not every single time.

28:43

There are still some habits that I'm still trying to break.

But like when you give yourself this grace, you don't feel like a failure.

But I always felt like a failure.

And in this case, tasks that I hated, I still hated.

28:59

I'm like, OK, I got to go do the dishes.

I fucking hate doing the dishes.

Oh yeah, shift it around.

I get to do the dishes.

That doesn't make the task any more fun.

And then people are like, myself included.

People are like, try and have fun with it.

29:15

Stuff you hate.

Try and find something you love and add it on.

And it's like, OK, I'll add on some music and I'll have a dance party and that helps for a little bit.

But it doesn't change the fact that underneath your like, I still fucking hate doing the dishes.

29:31

This is where the advice that I have is going to shift that for you because it's OK that you don't like doing something.

You don't have to like doing everything in your life.

This is your permission slip that you can have things you don't like.

29:48

I have a friend who doesn't like cleaning.

What does she do?

She hires a cleaning lady.

So then she doesn't have to do it.

She doesn't have to think about it like that's an option, but you're allowed to feel resentful for things in your life.

30:04

The trick that we're going to focus on today is shifting your perspective so that because The thing is, when you hate doing something and you say you hate doing something, that is a key for you that it is absolutely front of mind.

30:21

And when stuff like that is front of mind, and I've said this before on the show, I forget what the actual number is.

So I'm just going to make them up.

So do not quote me on these numbers, but they are astronomical crazy numbers, OK.

And you can look it up and you'll see the real numbers and you'll see the difference.

30:38

O something about our day, we receive like 50,000 things that we see in like a day, but our awareness can only like our brains can only actually process like 1000 of those 50,000.

30:59

It's this huge thing.

And so you're focused, your focus is on these thousand things.

And so right now your focus is on hating the dishes.

So what we're trying to do is we're trying to move that you hate it out of the thousand and it'll still exist in the 50,000, but your focus is going to be on something else.

31:23

And that's the whole point of the advice too.

Don't say you have to.

Then you get to is because you're shifting your vibration into gratitude.

But what we're doing here is we're we're accepting our human experience.

We're accepting ourselves who we are.

We're unsubscribing from gaslighting ourselves and we're just letting it exist over there.

31:42

Like I get really physically upset when people talk to me about animal cruelty.

I know it exists in the world.

There's nothing I can do about it right now.

I don't have the money to donate.

31:58

I don't have the resources.

I donate when I can.

I support anybody who says they want a pet.

I tell them to adopt.

Like all these things, like I'm doing what I can with the resources I can.

And I know there's injustice in the world and like it's not going to serve me to put it in the bucket of the thousand things that I focus on.

32:22

That's going to shift my vibration into sadness and scarcity and upset and all kinds of things and worry.

And then I'm not going to be in a good vibration.

So I moved it out into the 50,000 bucket where it's not my focus so that I can focus on having my vibration to love and kindness and gratitude and whatever O we're taking that principle.

32:49

We're we're acknowledging that things are happening in the world.

We're not trying to pretend they're not.

And we're just choosing.

We're being more selective of the thousand things.

So we only have the capacity to put in front of us.

OK, so first of all, start with awareness.

33:05

Second of all, give yourself grace.

Like here's your permission slip.

You are allowed to have things in your life that you don't like doing.

Our society is fucked U.

And like there are things that we have to do that we have to like we have to pay our taxes and nobody wants to do that.

33:23

But I just don't think about it and I get someone else to do them and that's it at the end of the day.

Like you are allowed to have things you don't like.

We exist in this society unless we go and live off the grid.

There's things we have to do and that's just part of life.

33:41

Let's just move it into the other bucket.

We're aware of it.

We're not being stupid and ignorant.

We're just moving it to the other bucket.

Let's take a drink.

OK.

34:01

So that's how that shows up for us.

And that's a couple ways that I'm using this theory to shift things and how this plays out in the habits in our lives, like how it plays out like in our system.

34:18

It's like the inevitable task shows up like the dishes and like your energy immediately goes into this energy of like dread, you know, or like avoidance, like I would avoid.

And then the dishes would pile up and then the task would be even worse.

34:34

And all of that shifts your frequency because like when I would avoid the task and it builds up, then I would avoid it even more because I know it would be more work.

And like that kind of energy looming behind you, you do not need that shit.

Like you really don't.

And it just like feeds the negativity monster when you dislike something.

34:53

And like people always say that like you can group emotions into two.

Well, we'll stick with buckets today into two buckets.

There's good ones and bad ones.

And like, if you want to attract more of the things you want in your life, you stay over in the good bucket.

35:12

And when you're focusing on the things that you dislike, you're kind of living in the bad bucket.

And then you're attracting more of those things into your life.

And like I said, that advice out there.

And then you start saying, OK, well, I get to do the dishes.

Well, you're just gaslighting yourself.

Like I said, you're causing your nervous system to fight harder because it's like, I don't believe that thing.

35:33

I truly resent this thing.

And all your system wants, your system really wants to be seen.

Like, think about, think about what you want.

And then your nervous system and your body wants the same thing.

You want to be seen.

You want to be heard.

35:49

You want to be validated.

You want your human experience to be validated.

You want someone to say it's OK that you're afraid of spiders.

You want someone to say it's OK that you don't want to go skydiving.

You know, your body and your nervous system want the same thing.

36:06

You're like, OK, nervous system, we get to do this.

And it's like, no, I don't want this thing.

By giving yourself that acceptance, you're saying it's OK that I don't like doing the dishes.

Your whole system.

Tell yourself that right now.

36:22

If you're in a space alone, tell yourself it's OK that you don't like whatever it is that you like and feel your system relax.

Because then your system is like, wow, you actually have my back.

You're not trying to gaslight me.

You're not trying to force me to do something that I don't want to do.

36:39

Great, now we can start working together.

And again, I have found a way that you can find something about that thing that you actually can enjoy.

36:55

And like I said, you always have the option like my friend to outsource and hire someone.

Or like if you were in a position where you have roommates, maybe you enjoy something that they don't enjoy and vice versa.

And you can just swap tasks or something, you know, because maybe it's something you originally enjoyed and then you don't enjoy it anymore.

37:17

That's OK too.

Things are allowed to change.

Like I said at the beginning of the episode, things are allowed to change.

Things are allowed to shift.

That's OK.

You know you don't like the same things you did 10 years ago.

That's fine.

You're allowed to do that.

And how we flip the narrative for ourselves and get ourselves over into the happy bucket.

37:41

We shift our perspective.

We find a thing about the task that we actually enjoy.

So for me, with the dishes, this is how I get around it.

I do not enjoy doing the dishes.

37:57

I still do not enjoy doing the dishes and I accept that.

But you know what?

I fucking love?

Love Love love love love is a clean fucking kitchen.

I love the energy.

I have chills as I say this.

38:13

I love the energy in the room when I walk in and the counters are clean and there's nothing there and there's just a couple dishes and I can quickly bang those off.

Throw them in the drying rack cause I don't have a dishwasher here.

38:30

These two hands is them.

Dishwashers right here and I can quickly bang those off and they live in the drying rack and the kitchen stays clean.

I am all about keeping the energy that you prefer and that for me I'm able to do because I because I realized the alternative, the alternative is I don't want to do them.

38:53

I avoid, like I said before, I avoid.

It builds up and then it gets worse.

Then I'm living in this state of resent.

I'm living in this state of dread.

I'm living in this state of holy fuck.

Now it's going to take me an hour to do something that I hate and I don't want to make myself do something any longer than I have to.

39:11

So I realized if I can do this in bite sized pieces, I can shift my energy and I get this added benefit that the energy in the kitchen is nice O when I go in, I'm not thinking.

39:27

None of that changes the fact that I fucking hate doing the dishes.

It doesn't.

I accept that, but I'm not focusing on that now.

I'm focusing on how nice it's going to feel in the kitchen, how the energy is going to feel.

39:45

It's going to be an energy of thriving, an energy of like, of creating, of abundance.

Because then with the counter clean and all the dishes clean, that is abundance.

That is another way to have abundance in your life.

And I'm so grateful for the amount of abundance in my life.

40:01

Look at all these clean forks I have.

Look at all these clean knives I have.

Look at all this.

Anything I need is available to me now when I go to cook instead of which spatula is clean because I haven't done dishes in four days and you know, we have 5 spatulas, but like all the ones I prefer have been used.

40:21

Oh, pardon me, all the ones that I prefer have been used.

And then you're like, well, do you know what I mean?

Like that energy of like settling for not using your favorite cooking tools versus and having to do a task you hate for like an hour rather than being like, OK, how don't all this like abundance, all this possibility, all this like when everything's clean, I'm like, great.

40:49

I can literally choose the things I prefer in every single moment because everything is clean.

It is perfect.

It is.

And I 1,000,000% choose that over the alternative any day.

And that is how I flip that around for me.

I'm not gaslighting myself.

41:04

I'm finding something that I prefer and I'm focusing on that.

That's what I did instead.

So what's the alternative?

You don't have to do the thing that I did.

41:23

That's totally fine.

The alternative is continuing to hate the things you have to do in your life, and that's fine.

If you choose that, it's your choice.

And like I said, that's putting you in a lower frequency.

It's giving you, it's giving off this energy that you don't want to attract more of in your life.

41:44

If you're not living your dream life, it's little things like this that might be blocking you from having consistent energy throughout the day.

Because what I've noticed when I've started resetting 3 times a day, I've reset first thing in the morning with my morning ritual, and then I reset halfway through the day.

42:05

Because I started noticing that I need to come back to the goals and the energy of the things that I want in order to attract my dream life.

And I can't do that if I'm going through my life with this kind of energy of like, well, I hate the dishes and I hate that I have to e-mail this person.

42:23

I hate after I do this thing or whatever, I don't know, that all day shifts your energy.

Oh, I hate that I'm stuck in traffic, or I hate that I have to go to work, or I hate that I have to, blah, blah, blah.

All of that shifts your energy.

So by the end of the day, when you get home and you're absolutely exhausted, that's why.

42:41

Because you're not living in your actual energy.

You're living in this bucket of energy that is attracting more of the things you don't want.

Maybe you have more traffic on your way home from work because you're going through your day like, oh, I fucking hate this.

42:57

And then you get home and this kind of stuff happened to me.

I would come home and I would be tired, but then I would be wired because I finally got to do stuff that I actually wanted to do.

And then I couldn't go to bed on time.

And then it would be this awful cycle.

And so if you can do a midday reset, if you get like a lunch break or something, all you need is like 15 minutes and you're just shifting your energy back to what you prefer because that's what this all is.

43:21

It's like you're just, you're not pretending that that thing doesn't exist.

That's what this advice does.

Don't say you have to say you get to.

That's like pretending like you don't hate this thing.

You do hate this thing and it's fine.

You're shifting your energy into a frequency that you prefer because like, I got chills when I was talking to you about my clean kitchen.

43:41

I feel dead inside when I talk to you about having to do the dishes.

You see the difference?

Like that's the difference.

You choose the energy that you prefer.

Energy.

Everything in life is energy.

Everything.

The earth is energy and vibrating.

43:56

Your body is actually not solid, it's atoms vibrating.

Like everything is energy.

So pick the energy of the things you prefer, because the things you refer, the things that excite you, the things that light you up, that is how you attract all of your dreams.

44:14

That is how you live a life aligned with your soul, with your intuition.

Like, let's fucking go.

We're starting a revolution.

We're starting a revolution, or we're already in the revolution. 70 episodes of Revolution.

Let's go.

44:32

So stop pushing your dream life away because you can't find the thing to appreciate in the current moment, because you only ever have this present moment, right?

And the point of this advice is to be in a higher frequency.

44:53

The things that you don't like, low frequency, the things you like high frequency, let's go.

Be in the present moment, be happy, be joyful regardless of what you're doing.

How can you be joyful regardless of what you're doing?

It doesn't matter how you say it.

I have to.

I get to No, it doesn't matter.

45:09

It doesn't matter.

The point at the end of the day is to feel happy and grateful.

The point at the end of the day is to be like, I had a great day.

Yes, shit happened.

We're not ignoring that, but we're not focusing on that.

It happened.

Cool.

Let's get it out of the thousand things.

Yeah, sure, it happened.

45:26

Whatever.

Like I said, I'm never going to be grateful that I have to do the dishes, especially when I don't have a dishwasher.

When I do have a dishwasher though, watch out.

I'll have so much more time in my day and the kitchen will always be clean.

45:42

It'll be amazing, but like I said, I'm always grateful when the kitchen is clean.

So find that thing.

That's the point.

Find the thing.

Find the thing that you actually enjoy.

Find the element about the task that you actually like.

There has to be something like I said, if you if you look at the task of dishes, you're missing the bigger picture.

46:06

Like I missed the bigger picture because when I look at justice the dishes, it's like, well, I don't, you know, I can get nice smelling soap.

That's nice, but that doesn't change the task.

You have to zoom out and look at the bigger picture.

46:23

Like another example of that is like I hate cleaning U the poop in the backyard after the dog and like I'll put that off forever but I love when the lawn is clean and he can run around and I'm not worried if he's going to step in something.

And like another example is like, I hate that I'm 40 years old and living with my mom, but like focusing on that isn't going to get me anywhere and it's going to keep me in this low vibration.

46:53

So like finding things you actually enjoy.

Like I love that my mom and I get to play games or like that I have a roof over my head and that I have someone to like share meals with or whatever.

Like zooming out, you know, like, I don't know, finding those things, it's hard for me to give you examples about what's going on in your life because I don't know, I don't know what's going on for you.

47:19

I know what's going on for me and try and zoom out.

Zoom out, give yourself some grace.

Start being aware and give yourself that permission that you're allowed to hate that thing.

It is totally OK.

47:37

It's totally OK and shifting your vibration and it's so simple.

It might seem so like, I don't know if meta is the right word, but if you're like, well, how do I shift my vibration?

I am a human.

Like, I don't know, like vibration is so weird.

47:54

Like it's, it's not tangible.

It's not like taking a pill and then you know, oh, I took the Advil.

It's going to kick in in 45 minutes and then my headache will feel better.

You, you don't actually have that with frequency.

But like I said, the way you can do that is to shift from hate into I love a clean kitchen, but honoring the fact that you hate it because then your nervous system and relax and then you aren't fighting yourself.

48:20

You're not gaslighting yourself.

And you actually get to go through life talking about how much you love a clean kitchen and your abundance of your kitchen and that you get to use all your favorite tools because they're always clean.

And then you go through and you're like, my life is awesome.

Like, I actually go through and I'm like, wow, the kitchen so clean.

48:37

I'm going to bed.

Everything is great.

And like, that feels nice.

That feels nice, rather than hitting the pillow and feeling like a failure and feeling like you're at war with yourself because you've actually been, you know, gaslighting yourself.

48:53

Because this advice, even though it's well meaning, is not getting you anywhere.

So your homework.

You have homework from this episode.

I don't think I've ever assigned homework.

Your homework for this episode is to find something that you don't love.

49:10

Maybe you have something that you're aware of because of our little meditation.

Maybe you don't find something you don't love.

And instead of gaslighting yourself, you're going to zoom out, you're going to honor that.

49:30

And like the argument that people always say, like I said about the dishes, like, oh, well, you know, there's people in the world who don't get to eat and you are so lucky that you get to do dishes.

No, that's their reality.

Like I said, that's in the 50,000 bucket, but my thousand bucket is things I can control.

49:49

Like I've all I've talked about this a lot on the show and I love this example because it's really helped me.

It's like there's three types of business in the world.

There's my business, there's your business, and then there's God or the universe's business O my business or the things that I can control, my habits, the things I say, my beliefs, the things I wear, the things I eat like anything that is in my control.

50:15

And then there's your business, which is the things you think and the things you eat and the things you whatever.

And like your business is not my business.

I can't control your business.

You are a sovereign.

That is your life.

And then there's the universe, God's business, and that's like the weather and traffic, like you can't control those things.

50:34

So if you can let go of the things that are out of your control, you get more peace and freedom because you have you also open up your mind for more space for yourself.

O, when people are like, you need to be grateful that you actually have food and dishes, blah, blah, blah, blah.

50:50

It's like, no, that's technically none of my business.

There's nothing I can do about it.

All I can do is control my own business and my own business is how I view the task at hand.

So your homework is to find that thing.

Zoom out and find a way that you can enjoy the things that you have to do in your life because you deserve to enjoy your life.

51:12

We only ever have this present fucking moment.

We only ever have right now.

Thank you so much for choosing to spend that time with me right now.

You only have this moment, So let's zoom out and find the thing because you can probably find something and if you can't, let's outsource it.

51:29

I don't know, eat off paper plates.

I don't know, throw them in the throw them in the compost or the green bin if you have that.

And then you know you're still doing your part and you're not adding to the landfill and they don't have dishes to do.

I don't know what to tell you, But like there's work arounds, you know there's ways around it.

51:49

Your reality is in your control and this is the kind of thing you can control.

And that is exactly how you shift your vibration O zoom out.

Look at the big picture, I'm sure you can find something.

Let me know how that goes.

52:07

That's your homework so that you can have more peace and love and abundance in your life.

I want that for you.

So, so, so, so, so much.

So that's it for today's episode.

Thank you so much for hanging out with me.

Remember that all your dreams are possible and I will see you in the next one.

52:24

Bye.