Have you ever had something you really wanted to do, but kept putting it off because you didn’t know where to start, didn’t feel ready, or couldn’t figure out how to do it right? As a recovering perfectionist, I know exactly how easy it is to spend months—or even years—thinking about the dream instead of actually starting it. In this episode of No Thanks, Unsubscribe, we’re talking about perfectionism, overthinking, fear, motivation, and what happens when you give yourself permission to start messy and figure it out as you go.

In this episode, we’re talking about:

• Why big goals and dreams can leave you feeling overwhelmed before you’ve even started

• The sneaky beliefs that can keep you waiting for the “right” time, more confidence, or more motivation

• My own experiences starting a podcast, building a business, setting huge goals, and changing direction along the way

• What feeling “ready” can actually look like when what you want also feels scary

• Why the people you admire probably didn’t have everything figured out when they began

• How perfectionism can keep you stuck in planning mode while the life you want stays just out of reach

• A different way to think about starting before you know exactly how everything is going to work

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Come to my FREE workshop Unblock Your Life. Most of us aren’t taught this, and it’s letting your blocks run your life. Stop letting your blocks, doubts and limits keep you from going after what you want in life. Sign up for the free workshop here.

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Get a FREE 15 minute consultation with me. I am a Goal Coach & Sound Therapy Practitioner. I use identity based, and energy shifts to unblock your life and get you going towards your dreams. Grab your free 15 minute consultation here.

TRANSCRIPT

0:00

Stop waiting.

If there's something you want to do but you're waiting to start, today's episode is for you.

Take it from a recovering perfectionist.

You'll hear stories of starting Messi and pivoting as you go to help inspire you and give you permission that it's OK to start without having every detail figured out.

0:20

And in true no thanks unsubscribe fashion, we're tossing out any beliefs that are keeping you stuck and giving you some alternatives to try on.

So grab a drink, get comfy and we'll get into it.

Oh, hi there, we've been waiting for you.

0:36

Let me guess, you have a feeling inside that something isn't right and a change needs to be made, but you're not exactly sure what that is or how to go about it.

You found us at the perfect time around here.

We don't believe in doing things just because that's how it's always been done, waiting for someday to go after our dream life or having backup plans.

1:01

We believe in creating our own custom life full of things that light our souls all the way up and knowing that deep down we owe it to ourselves to try and make it happen.

It all starts by saying no thanks to that same shit, different day hamster wheel and unsubscribing from that way of living.

1:22

Being here means you're taking that first step towards something better for yourself.

We are so glad to have you.

This is more than a podcast.

It's a movement.

I'm your host, Carolina, welcome to No thanks.

Unsubscribe.

1:46

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Welcome, welcome.

Welcome to today's episode.

How the heck are you?

How you doing?

What do you have to drink today?

I just have my water bottle.

I hope you have a drink.

Stay hydrated.

2:01

We will be taking hydration breaks during the show.

I guess that's a little less prominent now that the World Cup has been over for awhile.

Everyone was making hydration break jokes for a while, but it's necessary.

We need to have a beverage.

2:18

Let's go.

Alright, so today's episode.

What are you waiting for?

Like what are you actually waiting for?

I held myself back so many times in my life.

2:34

I have so many little stories here for you because of so many reasons, and we're going to get into all of those today.

A big one I think was being a perfectionist or like not feeling ready all anyway we will get into all of those.

2:53

But those are the things that have held me back and like even even I knew I realized this today.

I don't even think this is in my notes for today's episode, but I have known 4, 11 years.

3:13

I guess it's been that I've wanted to help people that my most successful self is standing on stage in front of thousands of people.

And it was not in like a musical capacity.

3:30

It was in a speaking on stage capacity.

And I, I knew that.

And yet, and yet because I was doing mindset coaching and she took me through this meditation to like meet my most successful self.

3:46

And that's what I was doing.

I was standing on stage like speaking at a conference with like Tony Robbins.

And I knew I wanted to do this.

And yet after that point, I still spent the last five years holding myself back because really, and I haven't read the book yet, but that whole concept of the mountain being you, like you are the mountain you have to climb.

4:10

You are the one in your own way, you are the one holding yourself back from where you want to go.

Like if I already have that clarity, why am I not trying to do that thing?

You know, like I've talked about this before about my out of body experience, and I had this experience and my body multiplied into six and then I saw Phoenix rising.

4:35

And in that moment I thought like I had this big like, Oh my God, I should be teaching sound healing or I should be doing sound healing moment.

And like, yeah, I'm really good at it.

I'm also really good at like, you know, cleaning and organizing things, but like I don't want to do those as a career.

5:00

Like, I don't know, like I'm good at cooking, but I don't want to be a chef.

Like you can, you can be good at stuff and still like not want to do it as a career and like, I don't know, for me it's more nuanced than that cause I'm a manifesting generator blah blah blah.

5:17

I got a little off track here.

As per usual, if you're new around here, that's normal anyway.

But if you have this clarity, like I had been wanting that clarity my entire life, and now that I have that clarity, it's like, actually, you know what?

5:37

I think I had that clarity.

And my thought at the time that was holding me back was, who's going to want to listen to me?

What do I actually have to say?

And this is episode 77, so clearly I have a lot to say.

But like at that time, like 11 years ago, I remember I was like, OK, I guess I have to start a blog, you know, I guess I have to do these things.

6:01

And then I didn't because I was like, I froze.

And I was like, well, what do I actually have to say?

And, and again, who's going to want to listen to me?

And it wasn't until I did that mindset coaching, I think it was 2021.

So I don't know how many years that was after, I guess five years ago.

6:20

So like six years after I knew what I wanted to do.

I had the mindset coaching and I got the clarity.

I wanted to speak on stage.

But still, who's going to want to listen to me?

What what do I have to say, blah, blah, blah.

Like those are the thoughts.

Like, pardon me, so like when you have these thoughts, how do you get past them?

6:38

How do you just start?

I know this is going to sound like not what anybody maybe wants to hear, but you just start.

You just start messy.

And for example, like this show, I started this show when I was still believing that being a sound therapy practitioner alone was what I was meant to be doing.

7:05

And so the show started with a lot of sound healing instruments and came from that angle.

But the core of the message, the core of the speaking stuff remains the same to this day.

It's always been about choosing a life that's in alignment with you and and how you do that.

7:24

Like how you get rid of the things that are in your way, the things that are blocking you just like waiting to start.

That is a block.

That is a block that is keeping you from living a life you actually want to be living.

And there's more than just those blocks that are in the way.

7:45

But we're not going to get into all of that and this one little episode.

But look at this show.

Like, I wanted to start a blog.

I didn't do it.

I wanted to start a YouTube channel.

I didn't do it.

And then I wanted to start this podcast for I think it was almost two years that I didn't do it.

8:04

And then I finally was just like, just fucking start.

Like I'm the one holding myself back, I'm the one blocking the way.

I'm the one with these beliefs, these reasons why I shouldn't.

8:20

But you can always find a reason not to do something.

And at the end of the day, are you going to be more proud of yourself for trying or for wondering what could have been?

8:38

You know, cause like 77 episodes later and like this month, I'm recording this on October 2nd.

This month on the 21st will be the two year anniversary of this show because I just started and like the show started and I was calling it the Soul's Journey soundtrack.

8:59

I don't even know what that means because I was trying to be, I don't know, fancy and unique and different and like I don't, I don't even know.

I look at that title and even at the time I knew I was like, I don't know what this is, but the point is you just start.

9:16

You start and you figure it out as you go.

There's no map for how to do your life.

Well.

There is an internal GPS which I can teach you about.

If you want to come to my free workshop, Unblock Your Life on October 14th, I will put the link in the show notes.

9:36

It's not something that anyone teaches you how to navigate your life.

It's like when you know what your dream is.

So like I know I want to speak on stage.

That's the destination.

That's the address you put in the GPS.

But if, unless you learn how to navigate life using your personal GPS, you can't get there.

9:55

This is where things like your blocks are getting in your way.

This is where delaying and waiting is getting in your way because you don't know how to navigate when those things OU and like people don't teach you that and they think they, a lot of people say, Oh, listen to your intuition and, and specifically they'll say things like listen to your heart or listen to your gut.

10:20

But if you've never learned how to listen to those things, you don't know what you're listening for.

And further to that, if you have, I think it's more nuanced than just one thing.

So like my out of body experience showed my body multiplying into six.

10:40

There are 6 different layers that you can check into that encompass your intuition.

And I believe that if you only hear one of them that you're still blocked.

O If you want to learn all of them in a deeper way and you want to identify a block that you have like come with your block, I'll teach you this thing.

11:03

And at the end of the workshop, you'll see clearer where you might be blocked.

It's, it's a workshop.

It's not like I'm not going to talk at you.

We're doing stuff together.

So it's fun.

Bring your markers, bring up pen.

We're going to go through it together.

Bring a piece of paper, a pen and some markers.

11:19

We're going to be colouring, we're going to be identifying, we're going to be releasing these blocks.

Let's go.

Like stop waiting.

Let's go.

So, and if you do, if you're listening to this, after October 14th, 2026, my plan is to run this workshop every three months.

11:36

So you're not far behind.

But if you're thinking maybe I'll catch the next one, stop waiting.

Stop waiting in life.

Anyway, back to the podcast.

I started it off with a totally different format than I'm doing now and a different name.

11:54

And then I just kept playing with it as I went through.

I changed the name, I changed the artwork.

It used to be this bright pink, like really like bright pink and like, and then it was like a picture of me and like, you know, chachi PT telling me how to take pictures and like it's, it's just going and like now it's one of my favorite cover arts that there ever was.

12:20

And the title came out of something I just started saying it wasn't even something I thought about.

And it just feels so fitting.

And I don't know, sometimes I do sound healing, sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I do an Oracle card pull, sometimes I don't because I'm really, as my new theory is the clarity comes as you go.

12:45

And when you think you have clarity, the more you go down that path, the more clarity you get.

Like if I hadn't tried being a soul like sound therapy practitioner solo, just doing that, I don't believe I would have got the clarity that I have now, which is that I want to help people achieve their goals and use sound to help bust the blocks.

13:08

Like that feels so much more like me.

And that feels like someone who could be standing on stage speaking about things.

And that's the point.

It's like, I had that clarity and I can sit here and say, well, why haven't I gone after that thing?

I've known this for five years.

13:25

But the reality is I also believe everything happens for a reason.

But the reality is like, yes, we're holding ourselves back.

But also, as you start going, that's where you get more clarity.

That's where you get the guidance that you need to be like, oh, I actually don't love this thing the way I thought I did.

13:43

So imagine that you have this thing you're waiting to do, and imagine you actually do it.

And then you're like, oh, I actually don't love that as much as I thought I would.

Like, how nice would it be to know?

Oh, I actually was putting so much weight on this thing, but now I don't even want this thing anymore.

14:02

And then you can move on to something that maybe lights you up even more.

And like you wouldn't know until you started off doing the podcast is one example of that.

Another example of that is this is my business is like I quit my 9:00 to 5:00 in 2020 so that I could start a business on my own.

14:20

I started a business on my own that was adjacent to what I had been doing because I had experience in that area.

I was a virtual assistant.

I had so much experience in an office and like admin and stuff.

And I was like, I can do this for people.

Well, I, I didn't like it.

14:37

I, I didn't like the work I was doing.

Like now I understand that it's because I just fell into that work.

It's not something I actually chose.

But that's not the point.

The point is you don't know till you try.

And so I tried being my own boss and I was like, I don't, it's not being my own boss that's the problem.

14:52

It's the work that was the problem.

And then then I did the mindset coaching and then I was like, oh, I want to write books and I want to speak on stages.

And so now, you know, the point is I started as a virtual assistant and like now I'm doing like sound healing and goal coaching.

15:13

Like it, it all shifts as you go.

And I hope that my own life is giving you permission to start and be messy and like, it's OK that you don't have it figured out.

The universe has your back.

You are taking care of thinking any other way.

15:31

Even though people argue that that's air quotes realistic, it's not serving you.

It's not getting you any closer to living a happy life or living your dreams or being somewhere you actually want to be.

You have to just start.

15:46

You have to just try.

And like, one of the other goals that I had that I didn't know how to start was like I wanted to start running and I wanted to run a half marathon and I didn't know how to do it and I didn't.

I didn't train as much as I could have or should have, and I still did it.

16:06

My legs froze after the 10K mark, which is halfway and I had to walk the second-half, but I did it.

Like you figure it out as you go.

Like I don't know, you just figure it out.

And like now, and I'm saying all this from what I am declaring the second rock bottom of my life or like the basement of rock bottom.

16:30

Like I thought I was in rock bottom when my wasband left in packed up his shit in the middle of the night and then just blew up our life out of nowhere.

And I thought that was rock bottom when I had to leave my home to move back in with my mom at 39 years old.

16:52

And I thought that was rock bottom.

And then and then I got super depressed and I thought that was rock bottom.

And then I started, you know, connecting with myself with this, you know, GPS that I called it with your intuition, like your inner compass, whatever you want to call it.

17:08

I've had so many names for that too.

And like you, I started coming out of what I thought was rock bottom and then I am now like I talked about this in my last episode, like I'm now like crazy in debt and I had to apply for social assistance.

17:27

So I'm calling this the basement of rock bottom.

It's like beneath rock bottom.

Like you think you're there, but oh, oh, jokes, there's another floor beneath you.

And like, on paper it sounds really bad.

And yeah, I had to bust through a bunch of beliefs and blocks in order to even apply.

17:46

Like, I was like, no, no, no.

Like, like, like who am I?

I'm too proud, you know what I mean?

Like, what am I gonna do?

But like, they will support you in Canada anyway.

Like they'll support you if you need it while you're looking for a bit, like while you're trying to get your business going.

18:03

And like, I know I'm meant to be doing this stuff and like, who am I to be too proud?

Like why do I?

Why do I have to like, I don't have to feel this pressure of the $50,000 hanging over my head like of debt and like, I don't have to feel this pressure of getting a nine to five job that's actually going to be horrible.

18:24

Like our society wants to say that like, oh, why don't you just go get a job?

And like, I don't think that's the answer.

I think that's a cop out.

Like that's arguably like worse than social assistance I feel.

18:40

I don't know.

I know you can fight me.

Come at me.

I don't really care.

Like it is what it is.

And like you, my point is you figure it out as you go and there are supports for you in the world that maybe you didn't think about or maybe you're too proud to ask for or like maybe I'm going to get some kind of grant and maybe I'll only be on this for two months.

19:02

You know what I mean?

It's not a long term plan.

It's a for now thing to get me through and when as soon as I got out of my own way and applied money started like blowing to me in weird ways.

Like I called to cancel my pet insurance because I don't have the money and I was on the phone with the woman and she's doing her spiel to kind of get me to stay.

19:29

And then I got really upset because she used the word euthanasia because they're like, oh, a lot of people use this as like an alternative to, to that, you know, if it doesn't come to that.

And then I start crying because I was tired and I felt pressured and I felt weak and I felt and ashamed that I had applied for social assistance anyway.

19:53

And I said, I need to call you back.

I can't, I'm not in a space where I can have this conversation right now.

And I I explained to her that I had applied for social assistance and I just can't afford it.

And I'm so upset.

She was like, I'm so sorry.

We can cancel, we can cancel, we can cancel.

I'm sure she was just reading a script and I was like, no, it's, it's fine.

20:12

I'll call you back.

I just can't do this right now.

And she was like, I can delay your payment for you.

And I was like, OK, great.

Thank you.

Um, so she delayed my payment.

Anyway, I hang up the phone, I'm crying, and then I look at my phone.

I'm getting this what I think is a spam call and so I just send it straight to voicemail and then I see the notification that I have a voicemail and it was her calling from her personal phone, which I'm sure like I'm not going to give any details because like I don't want to get her in trouble because I've worked in customer service and like I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to take customers phone numbers and call them from your personal phone.

20:51

But anyway, she called me and she was like, I'm so, um, please don't call asking for me, but I'm so touched by your story and I had to call you before I took another client.

Like it took another call because I want to send you some money.

21:07

And then I started crying even more because I had never had someone offer me something like this before in my life.

I, I couldn't believe this was happening.

Anyway, Long story short, we figured it out because she was in the States and I'm in Canada and she was able to send me some money.

21:26

And I, she spoke to me on the phone for 15 minutes and she said she'd been in a hard time in her life too.

And she knows how nice it is to, you know, have the kindness of strangers to lean on.

21:41

And she's like, I can only send you 100 bucks but like that 100 bucks like in the exchange rate to Canadian ended U like paying for my car insurance for last month.

So like I am so eternally grateful that I had the kindness of this stranger.

21:58

And like I know I want to be super successful in life and I know I'm going to pay it forward in some way.

And that's what she was doing because she had people be kind to her when she needed it in her life too.

And so like there is kindness and things that you don't even realize going on in the world that is supporting you when you're doing what you're supposed to be doing.

22:20

And it started off with me finding $0.10 when I was walking the dog, I just found it on the sidewalk.

And, and you know, and then like, I don't know, everything is just, it's almost like every week more and more support is coming in.

22:35

And when you're doing what you, I don't know what you're meant to be doing.

I I truly believe I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing, even if I'm getting more and more clarity on what that is as I go along.

But I truly believe I'm doing what I'm meant to be doing.

22:53

And I believe that the universe is abundant, that the universe is magical and all powerful, and that you are always supported in more ways than you realize.

If we can just get out of our own way, get these blocks out of our way, but release our pride or whatever it is that we think we're doing and lean on each other, not from a using each other perspective, but from a we're all here to support.

23:26

We're all in this weird.

If you think about life, it is so weird.

It is so weird.

We live and then we die and like what happens in the middle?

Like I don't believe that we're here to just go and work and grind and like be there for the man.

Like I truly believe we're here to do what lights our soul all the way up and that impacts everybody else.

23:50

And when we're all doing this, we all fit together like this beautiful puzzle.

And we need a community like they they say it takes a village like it does take a village.

And when we find the right village, like maybe it's someone you talk to on the phone that you've never seen in person.

24:09

You don't know who they are.

And maybe it's someone that you, I don't know, maybe it's a neighbor, maybe it's an old friend.

Like, I don't know who it is, but like sometimes we need to lean on each other and that doesn't have to be finances.

It can be emotions, like it can be whatever.

24:25

And sometimes we we're going through a really hard time and we need to lean on each other and that's why we need community.

But we need to get out of our own way first before we can even access that resource.

Anyway, you don't have to have it all figured out.

24:45

You can just start.

That's kind of the point.

And like the thing about my, if you follow me on social media, I'm I've publicly declared that I'm at rock bottom and I'm turning my life around in a year and giving myself a deadline because if you don't have a deadline, you're just floating around.

25:03

And so I gave myself a deadline.

I'm like rock bottom to dream life in 365.

And I sat there for days being like, how am I going to map out this year?

How am I going to have like, these are my goals?

How how am I going to break them down into monthly steps?

25:18

Like, how am I going to do this?

Because like I, I'm listening to this Wayne Dyer book excuses be gone.

And he was saying as he was writing the book, they were building a skyscraper beside his condo.

And that just really made me think about how when you are building a building, you literally have nothing.

25:40

There's a whole like there's literally nothing and you bring everything in and all you have is the blueprint.

But like your blueprint make your end goal is this building that people can come in and experience.

25:58

But when you're building this building, it is a completely different vibe because you're like, alright, we need construction workers.

Like let's see if it's like it's like this big office building, OK.

And you imagine these people in suits coming in, Like imagine the show suits, you know, you have all these people coming in this big glass is atrium, people hanging around, you know, or like you think of, I think of Devil Wears Prada and they're all like getting out of the way because she's going through the turnstile and she's getting in the elevator.

26:29

Like it's like such a different vibe or like people having meetings and you know, like fashion being done or whatever in this big office building.

But like before there can be a building, there's nothing, there's a hole, there's absolutely nothing.

26:44

If there's a building there, you have to demolish that building in order to make your new building.

And so like these things in life, like we can look at life and apply it to what we're going through because like, you can't be who you are always depending on what you want your life to be.

27:05

Because like, sometimes you can take the old building and build on top of it if it's the foundation is strong enough.

But sometimes you can't.

And like that, same thing can be applied to life.

Let's take a drink.

That same thing can be applied to life.

27:25

And like, when you're building a building, you have the goal, you have the blueprint, you have the goal.

But then like I was saying, you have to hire construction workers and you need concrete and you need glass and like none of those things that you need when the building's done, but like, you need all these things in order to build it.

27:45

And so when I'm looking at my goal of like, well, I want to make $1,000,000 and it's like, OK, how do I get there?

You know, like, what are the bricks and the concrete and the construction workers and the glass?

Like, what are those pieces?

I'm thankful that I have such a clear plan because I've been holding myself back for a while.

28:07

This Unblock Your Life workshop that I'm running, I've wanted to run it.

I think it's been like at least a year, if not 2, maybe not to at least a year.

It was a year and a bit ago that I wanted to run this workshop.

28:24

And like, why was I waiting?

You know, sometimes we don't even know.

Sometimes I don't think we're conscious of it.

But like, we are the thing in our way.

We are the thing holding ourselves back, regardless of what our reason.

Or as Wayne Dyer's been saying, my excuses, you know, is what it is.

28:44

And let's get into that now.

My next My next notes here is the habits and beliefs that are playing out because we hold ourself back.

So sometimes the goal feels too big.

Sometimes when this happens, I think our nervous system takes over.

29:01

I think our nervous system is honestly trying to keep us safe because the goal feels too big.

And that's the thing with my like public speaking goal.

I don't feel nervous about speaking in front of people or speaking in front of strangers.

I don't, I don't feel that at all.

29:17

I feel completely neutral about it.

Some people think about public speaking.

They're like, holy fuck, hide me in a cage.

Like I'm not doing that.

Like, you know, but I don't feel that at all.

But sometimes I think when the goal is really big and maybe that is something that like has held me back, I have felt.

29:42

So one of the things I say in like my morning practice to help shift my identity is that money is easy to make.

I don't.

Well, the last few weeks I've had evidence of that, but like in the rest of my life, I don't haven't had evidence of that.

29:58

And when I first said that statement, because there's three statements, I started off with money is safe to have that felt neutral.

Money is good energy that felt neutral.

Some people think money is evil.

I've never been taught that.

So that felt neutral for me.

30:15

But money is easy to make.

Instantly my stomach went tight.

And this is what I mean about intuition.

Like someone who says listen to your gut.

If I felt that my gut tightened when I said that sentence and I didn't fully have a good grasp on the full clarity of my inner GPS, my inner guidance system, my inner intuition, like I would have thought that meant that it was a bad thing, that that statement was completely untrue.

30:42

But that's not the case.

That signal of my stomach tightening was my nervous system holding me back saying like, no, no, that's not safe.

That's not a safe place to go.

That doesn't make the statement untrue.

That doesn't mean you should go there or you shouldn't go there.

It means your nervous system does not believe it to be safe.

31:01

That doesn't mean it's not.

It means you have work to do there.

And this is the whole point of my workshop where we're going to unblock these things because this kind of guidance, you're getting the guidance.

It's just the interpretation that we've never been taught how to do.

31:16

And so money is easy to make used to.

Right now, I say that I feel nothing.

But when I first started doing it, I felt all this tension in my stomach.

And that's the kind of stuff that is holding you back.

That's the kind of stuff that's keeping you from moving forward.

And so identifying these things so that you can move forward is exactly how you can move forward.

31:38

And, and giving yourself that safety now that it feels safe and that I can save money is easy to make.

Now it feels more tangible to me to actually make $1,000,000.

But that's the kind of stuff that could be blocking and holding you back.

31:56

And the goal may feel too big.

And you have to teach your system that all these little steps, just like building the skyscraper, you start at the bottom.

If it's 33 floors, you start at the bottom.

You don't start with floor 33, you don't start with the $1,000,000.

You build the foundation so it's strong.

32:13

And this is what we do with teaching your nervous system that it's safe so that you can hold.

The bigger things you can hold, the better relationship you can hold, the better job you can hold your dreams because maybe your dreams feel far away and you don't want to go after them because you're nervous system feels threatened.

32:30

You're never going to be able to go there if your nervous system feels threatened or you won't be able to sustain it if your nervous system feels threatened.

So that was the first time.

Sometimes the first one, sometimes the goal feels too big.

That's the first one.

32:45

The second one I have here.

Sometimes we don't know where to start, which is exactly what I felt with the My 365 plan.

I didn't know where to start.

I, I had the big goals and I think this is what held me back for a very long time.

I would make a vision board.

33:01

It would have like a dream home, a dream relationship, whatever.

And then I would be like, OK, that's the goal.

But like when your goal is a marathon, like your goal is like 40 kilometers and like you're starting at 0, if you've never learned how to run, you don't know how to train.

33:19

You're like, OK, how am I going to get there?

That's really far.

How am I going to get there?

You know, so sometimes you're just like, you know, the actual answer for running is put 1 foot in front of the other.

But like, sometimes it doesn't always work that way.

If if it's like, I want to make $1,000,000, you're like, OK, well, how you know, like sometimes you just don't know where to start.

33:41

And that's where I feel like these kind of practices of like getting the clarity and getting that inner guidance and following what lights you up.

Bashar always says that in every moment there are things in front of you.

We only ever have the present moment.

Wayne Dyer's been saying that in this book I'm listening to too.

33:57

Everyone says that you only ever have the present moment.

Yesterday is gone.

Tomorrow actually never comes because when it does come, it's still only the present moment.

So in your present moment of the options in front of you, Bashar says look at the options in front of you.

Whichever one, if you have two options in front of you, let's let's use food.

34:15

You've got a pizza, you've got a burger.

You look at both and you're like, wow, both of those sound good or both of those sound bad.

You know that's guidance, right?

So if both sound good, whatever you're 2 delicious options are, whichever one feels more exciting in the moment, that is your inner compass.

34:35

That's where you have to go and that's what my workshop is going to teach you the all the layers underneath to actually know which one is actually right for you.

Because like I said, even with the that money statement or any other affirmation, if you feel tight in your stomach, that is a sign that that is a block that needs to be worked through.

34:56

That doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't go that way or it's not meant for you anyway.

So sometimes we don't know where to start and having that guidance, having that clarity to be able to go in that direction, like, but that's something that holds you back and you're like, well, I don't even know where to start.

But like getting that clarity and justice starting, following the one thing that excites you the most, follow that thing and the clarity will come.

35:18

You know, like it's not some big, it's not some big mysterious thing, So pardon me #1 Sometimes the goal feels too big #2 Sometimes we don't know where to start #3 we feel too busy.

I feel like this is like the biggest block for most of the people in the Western world.

35:38

We are so busy.

Anybody.

Hey, how are you doing?

Oh, keep him busy, that's the answer.

How you doing?

Been busy?

What are you up to?

Oh, so busy.

It's the default for everyone, in addition to I'm fine.

It's like a blanket statement.

35:56

And Wayne Dyer has been saying too, that feeling busy is an excuse.

And sometimes I Oh my gosh, I saw this hilarious video.

I am not neurodivergent, but I really resonate with ADHD.

And this video I saw this girl was like, I've been so productive today.

36:17

And it was like a song.

It was so funny.

And she's like, I did this, I did this, I did this, I did this.

And then someone's like, yeah, but have you started on that project that you were supposed to do?

And she was like, Nope, I have not.

And it's like, I forget what they called it.

It was like distracted productivity where it's like you're delaying doing the thing, but you're keeping busy, but you're delaying doing the thing.

36:41

I think that plagues a lot of us.

Like I did, I noticed that myself, I needed to do the landing page and stuff like all the, the back end stuff that you don't even notice when you attend like a webinar.

But like I had to get all that stuff set up for this workshop that I want to run that I've been holding myself back on.

36:59

I take my own advice.

I do things like I, I hold myself back and I tell you guys not to do it and I tell myself not to do it.

And I look in the mirror and I'm like, we're doing this thing and I'm not holding myself back anymore.

We're just fucking going like, let's go.

Anyway, I had all this work to do and what did I do?

37:16

I cooked a ham.

My my mom bought a ham and I was like, I'm gonna cook this ham.

And I literally thought of that video while I was in the kitchen.

I'm like, I'm doing that thing from the video, but while the ham was cooking, I finished what I needed to do.

37:33

I didn't need to be there.

It was cooking for an hour and a half.

It was a big fucking ham.

But the point is, sometimes the business that we have is the excuse we're using, or it is the thing that is holding us back and we're using it as a reason to not be able to do the thing.

37:52

But if you actually analyze what it is that you're keeping yourself busy with and you actually get honest with yourself, I'm sure you could find time to do that thing that is on your heart, that is in your soul, that is actually something you want to do to move your life forward to better your life, you know?

38:12

Yeah, it's just one of those things getting in the way.

So the goals feel too vague.

We don't know where to start.

We feel too busy #4 is we're too tired.

Wayne talks about this in his book too, as an excuse, but Human Design kind of talks about this, that if it's not aligned for you, it will drain you.

38:39

If it's not something that is actually meant for you, it will drain you.

It will make you tired, but if you I'll give you an example, I'll give you a story.

38:56

Imagine this.

Imagine you didn't get any sleep, you were exhausted, whatever.

You wake up the next day and there's a message on your phone that your very favorite artist or your very favorite actor or actress, your very favorite like famous person, wants to have lunch with you.

39:23

How do you feel?

You feel so excited.

All of a sudden you have the energy, right?

All of a sudden you're like, fuck yeah, I'm doing this thing.

Oh my gosh, you can't contain yourself.

All of a sudden, your energy has gone from zero to 1,000,000 and you're figuring out what to wear.

39:43

How did your hair, trying to jump in the shower?

You know, you're getting it all done.

You got to get to wherever you're going to meet because you get to go hang out with this person.

And that's my point about being too tired, is that we think we need to fill our cup and we do.

40:01

But if we're always doing the things that light us up, our cup is always full.

And if we're always coming from this place, our cup is always full.

So if we're always doing the things that excite us, we're always keeping our cup full.

40:17

And then there's no room for the busy work that's just getting in the way.

You know, being tired is an illusion, or it's a sign that you're doing things that are not aligned for you, so maybe that's something to look at.

40:38

All right.

Goals feel too big, we don't know where to start.

We feel too busy, we're too tired #5 we're waiting for motivation to take action.

But this is almost like a put her finger down, put a finger down.

If, if you've held yourself back from doing something because of I didn't even write perfectionism in here, but I know that's something that's held me back to like, Oh no, I have to have even this workshop.

41:05

I, I knew what to look for because I've held myself back enough times with perfectionism to know I'm like, no, I'm not doing that thing.

And I'm even like working with my toxic bestie ChatGPT.

I'm like, Nope, we're not doing that.

We're not doing that.

We're not doing that this time.

You're not dragging me down that rabbit hole because he's the worst for perfectionism.

41:25

I'm like, can you check this for spelling?

And he's like, oh, yeah, you need to add this hyphen and that hyphen and this should be in brackets and blah, blah, blah.

I'm like, dude, is the spelling good?

Because I'm going to keep going.

Like, I don't care about hyphens.

I don't care about brackets.

He he tells me something.

41:41

He's like, well, this is fine conversationally, but it's technically not correct for writing.

And I'm like, OK, listen, we're not going there.

Anyway, that was a little tangent into perfectionism.

So that would be 4.5 #4.5 on my list.

41:57

Since perfectionism's not on here.

Waiting for motivation is number 5.

I heard this quote and I can't stop thinking about it.

Is that motivation comes after action and not before.

I used to think that motivation and doing the right thing were synonymous and they're not.

42:20

Like I used to think that when I was doing something that was lighting my soul on fire that I would always be motivated.

But they are not synonymous.

Taking action and seeing the results, that's when the motivation comes.

42:37

Like you might have a spark of motivation because you're so excited to do a thing, but that could go away.

But that doesn't mean you're doing the wrong thing, and that doesn't mean you shouldn't move forward.

So waiting for the motivation is actually backwards.

43:00

OK, the goal feels too big, We don't know where to start.

We feel too busy, we're too tired.

Perfectionism, motivation #6 waiting until you feel ready.

I feel like that's similar to my last one, but maybe a little bit different because my story here is like when I turned 16, that's when you're allowed to drive.

43:22

And I remember thinking I'm not ready, like thinking everybody else was going out and getting their licenses and I didn't want to.

I didn't feel like I could drive or that I wanted that responsibility being behind the wheel.

43:40

I just, I just didn't.

I just didn't feel ready.

And people always say that Rudy's not a feeling, but I've had a few experiences in my life where I have felt ready.

I don't know.

So I don't know if there's any validity to that, but if there is something you want to do and you're saying to yourself you're waiting until you feel ready, maybe that is a sign that you should just do it.

44:08

You should just start cause I think there's a difference at 16 saying you're, you're not ready to do something because you're young.

But as we get older, we know better.

We know we can get through it.

We know we need to just start.

44:24

We know that no one's going to kick our ass to get us out of bed, to get us to school because we're adults and we have to do it for ourselves.

We gotta get ourselves to where we want to go in life.

So there might be something holding you back.

44:45

Stop it.

Stop letting it hold you back.

And the last one is not feeling good enough.

I have been so plagued by that.

Like I said, I knew I wanted to speak on stage.

Well, how who's going to listen to me?

45:01

How I don't have anything to say, but you do.

And the thing that got me through that was I did this online Tony Robbins seminar thing during COVID.

And they said it was one of his friends who was on stage.

45:17

And he said speak to the version of you 10 years ago.

And I've heard recently someone else saying speak to the version of you two years ago.

And the reality is you're speaking to someone who is where you are 2 steps behind, you know, like you don't have to have run a marathon to be an expert on running a 5K.

45:42

You know, like you don't have to be an expert in the whole thing or like you just have to learn how like you learn how to run and then you can teach people who've never run before.

You know, like you, you are good enough.

45:57

You have life experience.

You have gone through things, you have seen things.

You are forever changed by your life and you are good enough.

You were exactly good enough.

I don't even need to give you reasons because you are good enough.

46:16

And if something in you feels off when I say that, that's your nervous system trying to keep you safe.

And maybe someone told you that you weren't good enough.

And I really want to encourage you to come to my free workshop because I can help you figure out where to feel in these other areas so that you can get through this block and you can actually go after the thing that you actually want to go after.

46:43

So to recap, the things that are playing out that are keeping you from going after, the thing you actually want is if it feels too big or you don't know where to start, or you feel too busy, or you're too tired, or you're perfectionist, or you're waiting for motivation, or you're waiting till you feel ready, or you're not feeling good enough.

47:02

All of those things are keeping you small.

All of those things are keeping you back.

And now I'm going to move into the section where I tell you why you need to go after that thing.

Not only is it a dream in your heart and you owe it to yourself to do it, but like the world needs you, you need you.

47:29

You need to show U to life as exactly why your soul came here.

That is your only job.

Our world gets it so backwards where they're trying to make everyone look the same and sound the same and be the same, but it is our differences that is actually why we're here.

47:51

That's actually what you're supposed to be doing with your life.

O whatever that thing is that you want to do, that you're waiting to get started.

It's needed That dreams in your heart for a reason, huh?

That's my second point.

That dream is in your heart because you're meant to do it.

48:09

What if the world needs to hear you?

What if the dream was put in your heart because you're meant to do it?

What if you are perfect for someone who is 2 steps behind you?

Because like, if you think about that too, like I would rather learn from someone who's actually doing it rather than someone who's speaking from concept or from like book smarts or like, I don't know, someone who hasn't learned it on their own, you know?

48:33

Like, you can just feel it when someone's actually done it themselves, you know?

Like, I want to learn from someone who's doing it.

I don't know.

Anyway, and yeah, I have another note here that I talked about about people love to say that ready isn't a feeling and you should just start.

48:50

But like, I feel ready now to like go back into running because like I have, I ran that half marathon, but like I haven't run in, Oh my gosh, possibly close to a decade.

But like I feel ready to go back to it.

49:06

I feel ready to give my life a full 180.

I feel absolutely terrified, yet ready to ruthlessly cut anything from my life that is not in alignment with this new life I'm building.

I feel ready for that.

I feel ready for the first time in my life to live alone.

49:25

I've never lived alone, I've always had roommates, I've always had someone else around.

I've been alone.

Like if if whoever I live with is away for the weekend, but like I've never actually lived alone and I feel ready to do that.

49:41

And I've never felt ready to do that before.

And like I said, like these things also feel scary but like to different degrees.

But like don't let the fear stop you.

This is where feel the fear and do it anyway is, you know, getting that clarity of like how where are you feeling the fear?

50:02

Is it your nervous system or is it a sign you're not supposed to go that direction?

Like that's the clarity you get from learning this system that I'm teaching at my free workshop.

Like, that's the clarity you get from that space.

So yeah, sometimes I think the fear is just our nervous system trying to keep us in a familiar state.

50:23

It's not a stop sign.

We'll often see the fear as a stop sign.

But when you can understand, actually further deepen your relationship with yourself and learn exactly what is being felt and what those messages mean, then you know, OHP, that's just that I can keep going.

50:44

Like when I was reaching out, I talked about it over a year ago now on the show.

I don't know which episode, but I was going to reach out to my ex-boyfriend and I felt into my 6 checkpoints because I was terrified to reach out to him.

51:03

And I found that it was just my nervous system keeping me safe and I did it anyway and everything was fine.

So, you know, sometimes it's just that familiar and learning how to calm your nervous system and put yourself in that state is all you need to be able to move forward.

51:24

So people love to tell you the reality.

Oh, well, the reality is, you know, like my situation, OHS, you know, be realistic, go get a job or whatever.

But reality is subjective.

51:41

And so here are my reality facts regarding everything that I've talked about in this episode.

OK, the reality is a lot of the people you admire did not have it all figured out before they started.

So why are you holding yourself to a gold standard that the people that you admire don't even hold themselves to?

52:04

The difference between you and them is that they started.

They didn't let these things hold them back.

They just started.

Or maybe they did let them hold them back like me, and then they started later.

But they started.

My second point here is that a lot of people who are successful do not have it all figured out.

52:27

They start and then they pivot and they start and then they pivot.

Which is exactly like what I'm leaning on for this next year as I turn my life around.

Because nothing is set in stone.

We were taught a lot growing up though.

You picked this career and you do this career and you keep following this thing.

52:45

You keep doing this for the rest of your life.

No, we're not doing that anymore.

Unsubscribe.

We are pivoting when it doesn't feel right anymore.

We pivot and then we pivot and then we pivot.

OK.

From my experience, figuring things out as you go is the best way to learn what you like and what you don't like.

53:12

I touched on that earlier.

I never would have known what I do now had I not tried a bunch of things and air quotes failed a bunch of things and we need to remove that word from our vocabulary because we're not failing.

It's, it's just data.

53:28

Oh, I did this thing and I didn't like it.

That's data.

You didn't fail.

It's data.

I don't want to do that thing anymore.

I'm going to try something else.

Data.

That's it.

Stop thinking it's good or bad.

Remove those labels.

It just is information.

53:44

Information.

It's like Googling.

It just is.

The reality is holding yourself back and waiting.

You're just delaying your dreams.

If you start messy today and you stumble through it for five years, you'd be five years older with five years experience.

54:05

But if you keep waiting until it's perfect for two months or two years or five years, you will be that much older still, with a dream in your heart and nowhere closer to where you want to be.

So just start.

54:23

Just start.

And if you're not sure where to start, send me a DM, Send me an e-mail.

I will help you figure out where to start because I know what that's like if that's what's keeping you stuck.

54:39

Maybe you just need someone else's head who's not in your situation to bounce off of, you know?

So ohe, here's a note on perfectionism.

I guess I did write it down, I just missed it above perfectionism.

54:55

It's just a habit that you picked up.

It's a habit.

It could also be a fear response and like I love this kind of phrase.

What would you have to believe is true for you to believe that everything needs to be perfect before you can start?

55:17

So what do you have to believe to be true about yourself?

For you to believe that everything needs to be perfect before you can start.

And then what you do, whatever your answer is, keep asking the same question until you you'll know when you get to the root, you'll be like, oh, that's the thing.

55:39

But perfectionism is just a habit.

I know.

I picked it up because I didn't want to get yelled at.

I, I was afraid of other people, afraid of other people's reactions, afraid of upsetting people.

And I needed everything to be perfect, to avoid someone yelling at me or to avoid someone saying I did something wrong.

55:58

Like that's why I need things to be perfect.

I don't want to make a mistake.

I'm so afraid of making a mistake.

That's where I picked up perfectionism.

And until I told myself again, stand in the mirror, give yourself permission is do you tell yourself it's OK to make mistakes?

56:16

You tell yourself that it's just data.

When you decide to not go One Direction or go another direction, it's just data.

Removing the weight of it needs to be perfect or it needs to be good or it needs to be bad.

Removing that weight, removing all that, you give yourself the permission to just try.

56:34

When you think of yourself, if you were three years old and you have crayons and a piece of paper, you draw whatever it is and your parents are happy for you and everyone says you did a good job even though all you did was scribble in the paper, give yourself that same grace.

56:49

Now that standard doesn't change just because you're older.

Society loves to make you think it does.

Oh, now you've got to colour in the lines.

Oh, you tried to draw a zebra and all you drew was a sunshine.

That's not good enough.

Like, no, fuck that.

Unsubscribe.

Everything you're drawing is perfect.

57:06

Everything you're trying in life is perfect.

Anything that lights you up that you want to do, do it.

Don't let these fears hold you back anymore.

They're not serving you.

I hope my stories have helped you see that it's OK to start.

57:22

It's OK to do so.

You've got this.

These blocks are, they're just that.

They're just blocks.

They're just habits.

They're just things you picked up.

57:38

They're not actually, The thing is like they're not actually there.

It's not actually a real thing to to be feared or anything, you know, But like I said, send me an e-mail if you want.

If you want help looking out where to start.

57:55

I also am offering one-on-one sessions.

We can help clear your blocks and make you an action plan.

You can book a free 15 minute zoom call with me or come to my free workshop.

I would love for you to come to my free workshop and then you can identify your blocks and do this fun stuff with me and I'll put the link in the show notes.

58:12

But you know, you do you, you know if it resonates or not.

Like I have this system that completely changed my life.

And if you want to learn it from the workshop, so I would love to have you there.

I would love to see your beautiful face to know who's listening to the show.

58:28

But anyway, that's all I have today I want to leave you with.

I'm not going to read from the book today as I've done in other episodes because we're getting close to an hour and my throat is a little dry and I'm honoring myself.

But I do have to say, as I always say, all your dreams are possible.

58:47

You have your dreams in your heart for a reason, and that reason is meant to be actualized.

So if you don't believe in yourself, I believe in you.

All your dreams are possible.

Thank you so, so, so much for hanging out with me, and I will see you in the next one.

Bye.