71. The Everything Happens for a Reason Trap
The Everything Happens for a Reason Trap
aka surrender has made you passive in your life, left you still chasing your dreams, and how to turn things around
(a tough love pep talk)
What if your belief in surrender and “everything happens for a reason” is actually keeping you stuck? In this episode, I’m sharing the uncomfortable realization that some of my deepest spiritual beliefs had quietly turned me into a passive participant in my own life—and how waiting for the Universe to make everything happen left me with far less than I wanted. We’re talking about the difference between trusting divine timing and avoiding aligned action, how to recognize when surrender has become a cop-out, and the simple mindset shifts that can help you stop waiting and start actively creating your dream life.
In this episode, we explore:
How spiritual beliefs can unintentionally encourage passivity and avoidance
The hidden habits that keep you waiting for life to happen to you
Why a “no” may be asking you to change direction rather than keep holding on
The difference between trusting the Universe and giving away your personal power
How daily resets can help you realign with your goals and dreams
What it means to take action as the version of you that you actually want to become
TRANSCRIPT
0:00
If you subscribe to the belief that everything happens for a reason and your dream life has not yet manifested, this episode is for you.
In today's episode, I'm sharing how you can upgrade these beliefs with a couple simple tweaks and actually start seeing your dream life in the flesh.
0:17
So grab a drink, get comfy, and we'll get into it.
The secret to living a happy life is actually pretty simple.
You just need to learn to hear, trust, and follow your inner guidance above anything else.
But the problem is a lot of us, myself included.
0:35
Hi, I'm Carolina, by the way.
We live in our heads or we're super emotional.
We're following someone else's rules, standards or beliefs unintentionally, and we're not hearing our guidance properly, if at all.
This show is about aligning for energy, learning to hear your inner guidance louder than your mind, and having the courage to say no thanks.
0:58
Unsubscribe to anything that doesn't match that.
I'm doing this exact thing in my life and I believe all our dreams are possible for us if we follow this simple formula.
Welcome to the No Thanks Unsubscribe podcast.
1:24
Hello, hello, hello, welcome, welcome.
Welcome to today's episode.
How are you and not a superficial how are you?
I'm fine.
How are you?
I'm busy.
1:39
Have you been busy?
I hate when people say busy.
I'm like, hey, how are you?
And they're like busy and you're like, that gives me nothing.
I'm genuinely asking about your life.
I get that a lot of people don't do that though.
1:57
A lot of people are just saying it as like filler because they think they have to.
But I also think a lot of people, and I used to be like super guilty of this too.
When someone's like, how are you?
You genuinely don't know the answer because you're spending your life looking outside of yourself.
2:20
You're spending your life doing, and you're not spending enough time reflecting, you know, You're not spending enough time connecting with who you are, like your own human experience, like this is your life, your one wild and precious life.
2:41
And if you're not in tune with who you are and where you want to go and what you want to do with your life, it's going to pass you by.
And that's kind of related to today's topic in a sense, because I was living my whole life.
3:01
I can't remember when I adopted this belief that everything happens for a reason, but it is one of my longest standing beliefs on memory.
Like, I remember that I've believed this for a very long time and I have no idea where I picked it up, but I always believed everything happened for a reason.
3:21
And I still believe everything happens for a reason.
But I have a very different perspective on it.
Almost no thanks.
Unsubscribe on it.
Just like I feel like it just needs an upgrade.
3:38
And I mean, that's the whole point of today's episode.
And we will a million percent get into that.
So that's your homework.
Tap into yourself actually, not homework.
We're going to do that in a minute here.
We're going to, maybe I'll switch things around a bit.
3:57
I've already recorded the sound healing for today's episode.
Oh my gosh, look at me.
I know sometimes I'm doing it like last minute and I don't even know what I'm going to pick yet.
But today, you know what?
We're going to use today's sound healing 5 minutes to tune into yourself.
4:12
You're going to tune in to how the heck you are right now.
Also, what do you have to drink today?
I have my water bottle.
I only have one drink.
I was not fully planning on recording.
I'm actually super tired, but you're so fired up about this topic because of something I saw on Instagram that I have to record right now.
4:32
I really want to record when I'm fired up because I feel like that gives you the best content.
O make sure you have a drink because we stay hydrated on this show and we're going to go straight into the sound healing.
If you are driving or not in a place where you can participate, it's 5 minutes long so just skip ahead.
4:53
But if you are in a place where you can fully receive this and just tap into yourself, allow the vibrations to shake loose.
Anything that you don't prefer.
Like take a minute right now and think if there's something weighing on you or something that's been bothering you or something that you don't really want for your life, bring that to mind.
5:13
And as we go about the sound healing, just allow that to leave your body on every exhale, just doing normal breathing, but on every exhale allowing any worries or discomfort or anything that you don't prefer to exit your body with your breath.
5:32
So before we get started, taking a deep breath in through the nose and exhale through the mouth, feeling into gravity, feeling the weight of your body on the seat beneath you or on your feet.
5:55
The support from Mother Earth and as we go about this, just focusing on your breath and if there is nothing that you really want to let go of, maybe trying to just connect with yourself, just allow that thing to disappear.
6:13
And if there isn't something for you, spending this time to really TuneIn and see how are you, how you are?
How are you on the body level, the mind, emotions, your soul, your energy and even your connection to source.
6:32
So focusing on your breathing and we will begin.
11:48
As we come back into this space, taking a deep breath in through the nose and exhale through the mouth, wiggling your fingers and toes, waking the body back up and maybe let's take a drink.
12:19
Stay hydrated and we'll go straight into our cardpool also.
How was that for you?
Maybe that's the first time you've been able to actually like dedicate to yourself in a while.
12:38
I hope it was beautiful for you and healing and connecting and aligning and everything that you would like to be.
So we're going to pull a card again from the Gabrielle Bernstein The Universe Has Your Back deck.
12:59
I like to knock on the cards to clear the energy and then ask what does the collective need to know today?
13:28
Right, I feel like we've had this message before.
This looks very familiar, but maybe that's, you know, when I see cards multiple times, I always believe that maybe we didn't get the message the first time.
13:50
Or maybe somebody didn't listen to that episode and they listened to this one and they really needed the message.
Or maybe we just need a reminder.
The more energy and intention I bring to my faith, the more fearless and free I am.
14:10
I actually just wrote the message for The Weekly Reset, which is my newsletter.
It's absolutely free if you want inspiration in your inbox on a Monday.
I it does not add you to any kind of spammy list or anything.
14:31
It's literally just inspiration in your inbox.
I remember when I needed it most, there was always some people.
I think Gabby was one of them who would send these emails and they would light up my day and sometimes they didn't hit.
But like, that's fair.
14:46
It's for a collective and I always just enjoyed emails like that because most of the emails you get are all about selling and UIC.
Like I want my inbox to be fun and beautiful and that's what I strive to do for the weekly reset.
15:05
It's a lot like this, this show where you get self inquiry questions and and ways you can take the message and really think about it and bring it into your life, into your day, into your week.
15:21
Anyway, they come out Monday morning and they just set the tone for the week.
Back to our card and the reason I brought that U is this fearless, This note about being fearless and what I said in the newsletter was like, you don't like fearless Doesn't mean you're all of a sudden going to go try skydiving.
15:41
Or maybe you are if that's your thing.
Not for me, No thanks.
Unsubscribe.
No.
The only time I've ever considered anything like skydiving and whatever is when my life has been kind of a mess and I'm like, fuck it, but I really don't know.
15:57
Like it's right for some people, it's not right for other people.
Like you don't need to go skydiving to prove to yourself you're fearless, but also fearless to me.
Again, it doesn't mean skydiving.
It means that you know who you are and you can go after the things you want in life.
16:19
That's fearless.
That you can do things like this show where you can unsubscribe to the way society believes things should be run and to have the courage to go after whatever it is that you actually want or to be fearless in setting boundaries or to be fearless in, I don't know, whatever previously feels hard to you.
16:43
Oh, for me.
Here's another one.
Like wearing a crop top when I'm a plus size person.
Like it doesn't matter whether I hide my belly or show my belly.
People know I have a belly.
Like I saw I saw someone post that they're like, oh, you think just because you're hiding your body and your clothes that people don't know you're fat because they do.
17:02
So you might as well wear stuff that you think is fun that make you feel good.
And if you feel good in big oversized clothes, fine.
But if you're doing it because you're trying to hide yourself, you're not fooling anybody.
I thought that was a good thing, but it can be really intimidating to wear a crop top, especially when you've spent your whole life being teased like I have.
17:26
That's not a fun way to live.
I even still have people trying to tease now because we're going back into a thin is in era in society and no thanks, unsubscribe because that is so toxic.
17:44
Not only is the bullying toxic, but that belief is toxic because chasing a number on a scale or a number on a size of clothing can actually make you very, very sick.
So that's my stance on that.
18:01
But back to our message.
The more energy and intention I bring to my faith, the more fearless and free I am.
I feel like your faith doesn't have to be religious, like your faith can be anything that you believe in.
My faith is no thanks, unsubscribe.
18:18
My faith is in me.
My faith is in the things that I choose to believe in, the things that I choose to connect with myself and the ways that I choose to show up in my day in the world.
That's my faith.
And the more energy and intention I put into that, yeah, 100%.
18:34
The more fearless and free I am, the more I reset.
I reset three times a day.
And for me, resetting is because I've spent my entire life essentially being brainwashed by society.
18:51
Parents, teachers, bosses, colleagues, peers, whatever they I was very much looking outside of myself, which is really the whole everything happens for a reason is looking outside of yourself.
19:08
But I was very much looking outside of myself.
And I'm now learning how to trust my intuition, how to trust myself, how to choose myself, how to show up from this place and move forward from this place.
That to me, is my faith.
And I reset three times a day because it puts my energy and my intention into that.
19:29
And so I'm, I'm, you know, all day you are choosing your habits, you are choosing your thoughts, you are choosing it has all running on autopilot.
But you do have a choice.
But you're choosing to let the autopilot win.
And so I'm choosing to reset and the autopilot still takes over because that's how habits work.
19:48
But I'm resetting because that's putting my energy and my intention back into myself.
So I highly recommend it.
I'm actually working on a free resource, which is like a 10 minute reset.
And I've guided you through the whole thing.
It's it's a full experience.
20:06
Like it's not just a how to, it's a literally put 10 minutes aside.
I give you everything you need to do exercises and everything you just do it.
It's going to be free.
I might have it done by the time this episode comes out, so check the link in the show notes.
It's not the thing I do every single day, it's the thing I would do weekly.
20:28
It's kind of like a hybrid between what I would do weekly and what I do when I manifest with the moon.
So I have this resource almost ready to go and it's phenomenal.
It's, it really helps you reset.
You have to make, if you want to change your life, you have to make it front of mind.
20:47
You have to make your goals, your intentions front of mind.
It's the same thing with boundaries.
When you set a boundary, it has to be front of mind or else you're going to keep crossing your own boundary.
And it's so easy to fall back into your habits.
And it doesn't mean you've failed and it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.
21:05
It's because you've spent the rest of your life on autopilot and it's totally OK.
And that's why I use resets to remind myself that I'm making these changes.
OI recommend you set U some similar system for yourself in your life so that you can actually see these changes because that's the whole point.
21:28
OK, to the topic at hand.
Everything happens for a reason.
Is like I said, it's something that I have followed most of my life.
I don't know when I picked it U or where I picked it U but I absolutely believe it.
21:49
I have been making vision boards.
Well I haven't recently but I made them for probably a decade maybe 15 years.
I always had a vision board going.
And even though I am a big student of the Secret, I couldn't even tell you how many times I've watched that movie.
22:08
Doing the gratitude stuff, doing the visualizations, doing all the things, seeing the vision board, looking at it every day, trying to make that stuff a reality and seeing nothing happen in my life.
And then believing, OK, well, that's fine.
Everything happens for a reason, you know, just like allowing everything to just play out because everything happens for a reason, you know, and believing that if there was a no that, you know, everything happens for a reason that I should just like, you know, wait around for the yes, wait around for the yes to appear.
22:42
And I know every situation is different.
And sometimes the universe is saying no to you because that thing is not right for you.
And sometimes they're saying no to you because it's, you know, not now that thing is right for you, but not now, you know, And I think I've always spent a lot of my life trying to understand the meaning of everything.
23:07
It's like, oh, well, I want this thing in the universe isn't giving it to me.
And I'm like, why, you know, tell me why, tell me why, tell me why for everything.
And I always wanted to know why.
It's like I'm the three-year old that never lost the why phase.
23:23
I'm always like, why is this happening?
Why is this happening?
Why is this happening?
It has been very liberating lately to release the why because it is because that's why.
Have you ever seen that guy on Instagram who does like the the spelling where he he has like the word dough and then he has the word like it there He did a video with like Derek Hough where like, cause huff is spelt like dough, but like it's an H instead of a D And like that's what this guy does.
23:57
He's like, OK, so this word is and you're like doe.
And then he writes huh?
And then he's like, so this word is and you're like, oh, and he's like no.
And then he's like you, you don't see it.
It's because that's why.
It's because that's why.
24:18
So I stop asking why.
It's because that's why.
That's the answer.
If we can stop trying to look for the meaning in life and start enjoying life, maybe we would be a little bit happier.
24:35
I know I am.
Anyway, what triggered this episode today is this girl I follow and she's currently in the process of moving and I find her moving process incredibly triggering because I'm an over planner and I understand her situation is very different.
24:57
I'm an over planner and she's explaining some of the stuff like she's moving across the country and her stuff is delayed and I've moved across the country four times.
And so I know how that works.
I know your stuff gets delayed.
I know your stuff doesn't come.
I know you.
25:13
They have no idea when it's coming.
Nobody knows where it is.
Like it's kind of fucked.
Like our system, the, the way the shipping system works, it's, it's kind of fucked anyway.
And stuff that she needs in order to live her life is in her shipment.
25:28
And I learned the first time I I moved and then moved back.
And that taught me so much.
And I don't know if this is her first time or not, but I think that's why her story is so triggering to me because I'm like, Oh no, you should have done this, this and this.
And like, there's nothing we can do.
25:44
Like everything happens for a reason.
She's on her own journey.
Cool.
But she's sitting there and she keeps saying, like, oh, my laptop's in there.
I can't work.
And she's like, yes, I could go get a new laptop, but I'm not going to do that.
26:01
Or I could go borrow one from a friend, but I'm not going to do that.
And she's saying that she believes that her stuff was delayed because Spirit wants that for her.
26:18
And this is the thing that I find.
This literally shifted everything for me because I would have said the exact same thing.
I probably have said that exact same thing, like, Oh, well, I can't do this thing, therefore I'm probably not meant to.
26:38
So I'm just going to sit and wait.
And she's not sitting and waiting because she's called the moving company several times.
So she's not just sitting there, but she's also like coming on Instagram and telling us all about it.
And essentially she keeps saying, well, Spirit must not want me to have my stuff.
26:57
I must be in this space.
And I do believe that there is a time where we do need to kind of pause.
There's a time in our growth where we do need to like let everything integrate.
27:13
Like I went through a time in my life where I had so much physical pain that I couldn't do anything.
Like it was painful to sit, It was painful to like move.
It was painful to, like, lie down and like that kind of stuff is like the universe kind of hitting you upside the head and it's like you have to deal with this thing and you can't keep doing what you're doing.
27:37
So there are times where that happens and everyone's on their unique journey.
And like, I don't know what it's like in her body.
I don't know what it's like talking to her spirit team.
I don't know what it's like with her intuition.
She's not me, but as someone who's gone through similar things, I just find her story so triggering because it comes across so passive.
28:00
And again, sometimes in life, you do need to take a pause sometimes, you know, maybe your energy is super taxed.
Like I said to you, I was super tired.
I'm so fired up now.
I knew once I got going, I would have the energy to do this episode, but I also know that I will not have the energy later to wash my hair because I will be absolutely zapped after this.
28:23
And it's, you know, it's about knowing your energy.
It's about knowing who you are.
It's about tuning into who you are and knowing your limits.
And that's something I never used to know.
I remember having a conversation with some friends where we would be out drinking and they would make a comment like, Oh no, I can't have another.
28:40
I know I'm at my limit.
And I'm like, how do you know that?
Like I never used to know until I was way past my limit and then it was too late.
And it was the same thing with like food, because I looked so far outside of myself for guidance and everything.
28:58
Like with food, it's like, well, I'll eat everything on my plate.
And it's like when you're doing that, you're not giving your body the autonomy and the authority to tell you, hey, I'm full.
You're letting the plate dictate how much you're eating.
You're letting the plate dictate when you're done, and that's no way to live.
29:19
And I'm saying that as someone who absolutely lived that way.
And it really disconnects you from the human experience.
It really disconnects you from like knowing where you need to go and what you need to do and when you need to pause and when you need to keep going.
29:36
And that is when when you're disconnected like that, that's when the universe will force you to pause like I did with that physical pain.
Because it's like, listen, you can't keep going this way.
You absolutely can't.
And when that all happened to me, this is actually a really like divine timing to be telling this story because I'm coming U on the 2023 three-year anniversary of my spiritual awakening, which was Lionsgate portal 2023 and it's now 2026.
30:09
And so that was three years ago.
And like, you know, I needed that physical pain to pause, to explore the kind of healing modalities that I did, to find some friends that I needed at the time and to discover vocal toning and to have my out of body experience and learn the six layers of our existence and to learn how to tune into all of those.
30:38
Because I have found so much clarity and liberation from that.
And like, I wouldn't have had that had I not had that physical pain.
So I do believe everything happens for a reason.
Everything is guiding us.
But I also think, I guess there's like a line between when are you being passive, like when are you practicing surrender way too much and when are you literally just being so lazy?
31:08
And so I don't know, it's like a cop out.
It's like you're not living like you're being avoidant.
Like, like there is a line there.
And if you want to go through your life like that, cool.
31:26
It's your life.
You can absolutely do whatever you want with your life.
And like this girl's story, and it has me reflecting on my life and realizing how hands off I've been on my in my own life.
Like I've made some choices, obviously, and like I've, I've done some things and, but for the most part, like I keep saying that like my manifestations didn't come true because XY, but what if my manifestations didn't come true because I wasn't actually taking action?
32:01
Like making a vision board is not enough action.
You know, visualizing is not enough action.
You need to do those things.
I need to reset every day to tune my energy, but I also need to take action towards that thing.
32:19
Like I told the story about the woman that I'm partnering with for the the light and sound sessions, the woman who reached out to me to do those sessions and she wouldn't have seen me had I not shown U online.
32:41
She wouldn't have seen me if I had still been scared and not posting, had I not found my fearless courage to show U online and share even in this podcast, sharing my crazy ideas because that's what I want for my life.
32:59
I want to do public speaking.
I want to be on stage, I want to write books, I want to help people.
I want to do sound healing and also do retreats.
Like I want to do all these things.
I can't.
I can't literally sit there and go.
Everything happens for a reason.
A book deal's going to fall in my lap.
Some publisher is going to find me, you know, and it's just going to happen.
33:18
Know you need to actually take action towards that thing.
She found me because I was posting online, because I was posting local stuff.
And she found me and we resonate like she resonated with me.
And now we have what's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
33:36
And like, that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't have taken the action to show up online, if I hadn't had these thoughts, these random rants and posted online and had them resonate with her.
Because when you show up authentically, that resonates with people.
33:52
When you show up authentically, it gives other people permission to show U too.
When you show U authentically, it like unlocks your life purpose.
Because your authenticity is your life purpose.
Showing up as you is your life purpose and just doing some of these things and just believing everything happens for a reason without taking action is not the way to go through life.
34:21
It's not going to get you where you want to go.
When you believe everything happens for a reason and you're too relaxed about it, which is where I was.
34:39
And that's probably true because I was raised by people who didn't do a lot like they like they did.
They they showed up, they provided for their family, blah, blah, blah, but I never saw them go after their dreams.
34:56
That's what I mean.
And so like when you believe, I mean, I don't even know if they believe everything happens for a reason, but like, if you believe everything happens for a reason and you're doing the bare minimum is what I mean.
Like you're not gonna achieve your dreams.
35:12
Oh, yeah, I remember where I was going, was raised by people like that.
They're just showing up for life, you know, doing the same thing day in and day out.
And that's not me.
I've seen them do it.
I've saw this quote once where like, these people are putting your life to show you what it looks like if you never grow and evolve.
35:31
And so it was such a great lesson to have them in my life to show me where I don't want to be.
Unfortunately, though, it's taken me until my 40s to figure out that, like, I've been way too passive because it's literally the easiest thing to do in life.
35:49
It's so easy to just show up and follow the rules and do what you're told and do what you think you're supposed to do and check off the life list and, you know, come back at the end of the day and do it all again tomorrow.
And it's it's easy until it's not easy because it literally is soul crushing when you have big dreams and big goals and this is how you're showing U in life, it is absolutely soul crushing, which is what happened to me.
36:14
And now I'm in this place where I can never go back there because I know how soul crushing it is and I refuse to go back there.
But I've also been way too passive.
I need to be way more active in my life because just meditating every morning and just resetting every morning without having these actions to back up where you're headed in your life is not enough.
36:38
This is like the biggest pep talk.
I wish I could give this to myself five years ago.
This.
It's not enough.
It's not enough.
You're using it as a cop out.
You're being way too passive.
36:55
You think you're trying, but you're not, and I'm sorry if that comes across harsh and comes across as tough love.
I'm literally speaking to myself five years ago, and I really hope I'm putting the intention out there that this episode manifests the people like me who are stuck in that same mundane, monotonous hamster wheel and they want to get out of it.
37:17
They want to manifest their dream life.
I hope this is the kick in the butt that they need to, you know, move the fuck on from it and actually start going after their dreams.
Because you need to align.
You need to align your energy with where you're headed, great.
You need to do things like meditate and stuff, great.
37:34
You need to practice surrender, great.
Because you know, life doesn't always turn out the way you think it's going to.
Sometimes it turns out way looking better and sometimes bad things need to happen in order for you to get into a good place.
Like I needed that divorce to end U here to be able to do a whole bunch of the things I wouldn't I wouldn't have met my boyfriend if I wasn't here.
37:53
Like there's a lot of things that needed to happen.
And so like yes, everything does happen for a reason.
And I do believe there's a grand plan kind of guiding us.
But I truly believe that we have freedom of choice and we are in control of our actions and everything.
And if you are not like if you reset your energy, great.
38:12
You are shifting your habits and beliefs from before, great.
But you have to back that up with action and justice, saying you're busy all day when you're busying yourself with things that don't matter.
38:27
This morning my tarot reading was very clear that I needed to stop focusing on perfectionism.
I that gets in my way all the time because I love things to be pretty and aesthetic and I want to be properly represented and I don't want to be misunderstood because these are core childhood wounds and perfectionism gets in the way.
38:51
And that's kind of the stuff too.
It's like you're afraid to take action because you want this, that, and the other thing in your way.
Take messy action.
If you don't know all the answers, do it anyway.
If you're not really sure what to do, do it anyway.
Everybody, everything in life is made U.
39:08
Everything, everything in life is made U.
Someone somewhere decided things were going to be a certain way and everyone was like OK, let's do it like that.
And like that's how society is the way that it is.
Someone made it up.
Someone somewhere decided this is the theory of relativity.
39:24
Like people made it up.
Well made-up everything is made U Someone thought it one day and then they're like I proved this and here's how I proved it.
And then we're like, OK, that's real.
And everything was made-up somewhere.
39:41
From a thought someone made-up the wheel.
They invented that shit and now we use that for everything.
It all got made U somewhere.
You have to start somewhere and it's OK.
39:57
What if you learn your greatest lesson in the messy action?
What if you meet the right person that you need because you had the courage to just get out there and do the thing, even if you're not really sure what that is?
Get out of your comfort zone.
40:14
Your comfort zone is comfortable for your old life.
It's not comfortable for your new life.
There are new ways you have to grow and expand in order to fit into this new life.
And if you if you genuinely sit there and you look at the life that you're trying to manifest for yourself and you look at your current life, could they actually fit together?
40:37
Probably not.
There are probably things in your current life that would need to shift in order to make space for that new thing.
You always have to.
Like I cleaned out my closet recently.
I got rid of 15 pieces of clothing.
I have 15 free hangers for 15 new items.
40:54
But like, I wouldn't have had those hangers available if these old clothes were still there.
Like you have to make space in order for new things to come in.
And like, if you're just like everything happens for a reason and then you're going about your old life, nothing is ever going to change.
41:12
You are being way too passive.
You know, if you're like, oh, don't worry, the universe will take care of it.
No, Sometimes yes, but no.
You are the active participant in your life.
You are the moving piece in your life.
41:28
Like think about your life like a video game.
You are the character and you are the player.
You know Nintendo created the console.
They know the universe created the console.
The universe created the game.
41:43
You know you're logging into Animal Crossing.
Life is Animal Crossing.
You are the avatar in the game, but you are also the player.
You have to make your avatar move.
If you just log into the game and you sit there, you're going to see Isabelle doing the Morning News, and then you're just going to be standing outside your house the whole time.
42:02
You're not actually going to do anything in the game.
You have to do.
You have to do.
And again, sometimes the universe is redirecting you or delaying you, you know, like in Animal Crossing.
Sorry if you don't play the game.
This Synology just came to me and I love it.
42:20
If you play the game, there's only a certain amount of things you can do in a day before the game is like, OK, like you can only order five things from the Nook store.
I forget what it's called, Nook shopping.
I think you can only order five things a day from that.
And then you've got a time travel to get to the next day so you can buy more things.
42:38
You know, there's there's, you know, certain times that the store is open or you can't go shopping at the store.
You know, like there's so many rocks you can break and then there's no more rocks.
Like there, there's things you can do in a day.
So like there, there are times where the universe is redirecting you or delaying you.
42:54
They're like, well, you can't do anymore today and that's OK, but you still have to actively participate in your life.
And if you're, if you're just saying everything happens for a reason and you're going about your old life and you're just like living things mundane day in and day out, you are not an active participant.
43:11
You are technically actively participating in those old ways of being.
But chances are if you're listening to this, you don't want that for yourself, saying everything happens for a reason and just allowing the universe to take care of everything and not doing anything or like you're doing stuff, but it's actually busy work, like perfectionist work.
43:33
Like, OK, well, you know, before I can start posting on social media, I have to have the perfect bio or I have to have the perfect colour scheme and fonts and I got to have, you know, highlights and blah, blah, blah.
No, just start, figure the rest of that out later.
43:49
That stuff is actually blocking you from doing just do it.
And for the love of God, stop listening to everybody online.
Because if you notice people who are experts in social media, you will hear people arguing both sides.
44:07
There is not one universally agreed upon way to post or do things.
And it's, it's literally blocking you to listen to their advice because you'll be like, OK, well, I need to do this thing because this person said to do it this way, but then this other person lets you do it another way.
44:23
Listen to your intuition because when you are coming from that place, you are resonating authentically and when you show up, those people align to you.
The right people will align to you.
Just like the woman who reached out to me.
44:40
When you show U authentically, the right people align with you.
That is where the universe comes into play.
That is where everything happens for a reason.
You finally show up in the universe.
Like thank fuck, finally she finally showed up.
44:56
Great.
Now this person who I've had in limbo over here, I'm going to show your content to them and I'll let them now take action and the two of you and meet up like the universe can only do so much.
We have free will.
We have to do things.
You can't just let the universe do everything for you.
45:15
It doesn't work that way.
The universe is not going to only tell you science and only give you science and tell you what to do.
It doesn't work that way.
You know what tells you what to do?
Your intuition.
And if you don't know yourself, you are not connected fully to your intuition.
45:33
Absolutely not.
I will die on this hill.
You are not connected to your intuition.
If you can't tell me what's going on inside your body, you are not.
That is exactly what happened to me.
I did somatic therapy and she was like, OK, feel into your feet.
45:49
And I was like both of them at the same time.
And she's like, Yep.
And I'm like, can't do it.
She's like, that's OK, Do one at a time.
I'm like, alright.
I'm like, I can feel my toes.
No, I can feel one toe and she's like, that's OK.
That's literally where I that I was so fucking disconnected from myself.
46:10
People said, you know, I listen to my intuition.
I listened to my gut.
It comes to me as words.
Also, when things come to you as words, it might be your ego.
So I really want to encourage you to like TuneIn to all the layers of yourself.
46:27
And like I've noticed that recently when I'm looking for guidance, my first thought is my ego.
I have to name my intuition and ask her to come forward.
And then I ask the question again, and sometimes they get a different answer because I'm so used to running on autopilot that my first thought is not always my intuition.
46:50
Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.
It really trips me up like, like, I'll have a thought and it's my first thought and I'm like, no, that can't be right.
And then that'll end up becoming true.
And I'm like, holy shit, I knew it.
Anyway, you have to let your intuition Dr. the bus.
47:12
Like you log into the game every morning, you wake up, you log into the game, you let your intuition decide are you going to turn right or left?
Are you going to build a Cliff?
You're going to build a lake.
What are you going to do?
And you let the universe, you know, kind of guide you in, OK, that's enough for today, you know, come back tomorrow, blah, blah, blah.
47:31
And you and the universe, your intuition and the universe are Co creating, you know, like you're you're you're Co creating in the sense where the universe is like, maybe you should stop.
And you check in with your intuition and you're like, actually, yeah, maybe I should stop.
But if your intuition is saying let's fucking go, then go.
47:50
That's where it's like the universe isn't saying no, the universe is saying don't go this way.
If a door is locked, that doesn't mean you can't get into the building, walk around the building and look for another door.
Like that doesn't mean all the doors are locked.
It just means that door is locked.
Maybe you're not meant to go through that door because on the other side there's broken glass.
48:07
But if you find another door, maybe there's this beautiful welcome area with refreshing beverages and there's a waterfall and some beautiful cushy chairs.
And someone who comes in is like, hi, welcome to the sanctuary.
And you're like, great, If I had gone through that other door, I would have walked through fucking broken glass.
48:24
And now I'm here at the Sanctuary and it's like a beautiful, peaceful Oasis where all my dreams come true.
You know what I mean?
When the door is closed, that doesn't mean you can't go in.
It means maybe look around, you know, look somewhere else, maybe there's a window, maybe climbed through the window and then you end U in.
48:45
I don't know, some locked room where this person is.
Like, I've been waiting for you.
Thank goodness you're here.
I knew you were coming.
I don't know, like anything can happen, but like saying everything happens for a reason and justice allowing the universe to do everything for you is the biggest fucking cop out.
49:06
You are not actually living your life.
You're not living.
You're floating down the lazy river.
And then you bump into things and you're like, well, I guess that was meant to be.
And then you just keep floating.
And yes, like I said, I do believe a lot of things are meant to be.
But again, you have to take action towards the things you want.
49:25
That's how you make them true.
And that's when that's where I believe all your dreams are possible.
Everything is fucking possible for you.
Stop being avoidant.
If you're saying everything happens for a reason and then you're like, well, the universe must not want me to do that thing.
49:40
No.
Listen to your intuition.
See what's going on.
Is your intuition telling you fine?
Is the universe telling you no?
Cause again, you can flip the narrative.
What if the know that you think you're getting is actually in place so you go in another direction?
49:59
Like my whole door thing, I don't think there's ever really a no.
I think it's really like a not this way or like a not yet, you know, and maybe there is a no like, you know, I'm never going back to my ex-husband.
50:15
But who knows, maybe I'll get knocked on the head like in that movie.
What's that movie The Vow, you know, who knows?
I don't know.
Everything happens for a reason.
Anything can happen.
That would be my worst nightmare.
50:32
But again, I don't think the universe is gonna give you your worst nightmare.
I think the universe actually gives you your worst nightmare to show you.
Hey, bitch, stop.
Listen, go another way.
Do you really want to keep living in your worst nightmare?
No, I know you don't.
50:48
I'll keep giving it to you, though, so that you'll go another way.
And you're like, why is everything happening to me?
It's not happy.
It's it's there to help you, Bashar says.
There's always a way to use something for a way you actually prefer, find the way that you prefer, Even if that thing is like, wow, I have this information and now I know I don't want to be here.
51:08
You go another way.
Great.
That is what the universe is doing for you.
That is what is being in your way.
But you need to be the active participant and be like, do I want this?
Do I not want this?
Cool.
Go somewhere else.
51:26
Stop waiting.
Stop delaying.
Stop being in your own way, because the reality is that's what you're doing.
That's what you're doing.
And I'm going to say it again, it is the biggest cop out is the biggest fucking cop out.
51:46
You are not living your life.
You're literally going, this is what I want.
And then you're like, I'm not changing anything.
You have to be actively playing the game, actively playing the game, because otherwise you're not living, you're just waiting.
52:09
And how long are you going to wait to start your life?
All these dreams are in your heart for a reason, for a reason, because there is a version of you that has already achieved them.
52:25
There is a version of you living your dream life, so get out there, align with that every single day and start taking action towards it.
What would that version of you be doing right now?
What's one thing, one tiny step that you can take towards that version of you?
52:45
Put that into your calendar every single day so you can show U in that energy.
Show U as that person every single day.
This is how you flip the script.
Get to know yourself on every level, every level.
53:03
That's what I've always been teaching in this entire podcast is that inner sound check process.
It's the tuning into your body, mind, emotions, soul energy and your connection to source TuneIn to that every single day.
53:20
I've made a really quick version of this where you just actually it's in that freebie.
It's in the 10 minute reset experience freebie, like it's in there and you literally tune into all six things and you you recognize the thing you like high body, hi, insert art here.
53:43
And then you're like, I feel you or the with the brain.
I go, I hear you, but like all the other ones, it's like, I feel you.
I love you because think about what it's like when you're creating a relationship with a new person.
I mean, you don't always say I love you at the beginning, but like, don't you want to love yourself?
54:01
Don't you want love for yourself?
And if you're not quite there where you can say you love yourself, I totally get that.
I used to say I hated myself.
So I absolutely get that.
O Even if you just tune into each layer and you're like, hi, one of the six that I've already listed, I feel you.
54:22
I'm here with you, you know, just like I'm sitting with you, I'm present with you, I'm here with you, I'm here for you.
You know, we're going through this together, that kind of thing.
You are creating a relationship with all parts of yourself.
That's it.
Get to know yourself on every single level.
That's step one.
54:37
Step 2, start resetting every day to realign and recommit to your goals.
Recommit to this energy of the version of you that you want to be the future version of you that has all the things that you want.
What do they think?
What do they believe re aligning to those things, resetting to those things multiple times a day puts you in that energy and puts you out of this energy of being avoidant and being complacent and just living life without actually living life.
55:07
You know, settling in life instead of actually living life.
And it's just as simple to as like I've been doing this chanting again, this is in my freebie too.
You just chant the word OOM and do it for 5 minutes.
55:24
Yes, it feels really weird at first, but you chant OMM and like do that for 5 minutes and feel your energy shift.
You can, before you start, see how you are on a scale from, you know, zero to 10.
And then at the end, see how you feel zero to 10.
55:41
Like I chanted this morning and I went from actually I didn't check in with my numbers but I was buzzing at the end.
Felt so good. 5 minutes of chanting feels so much better than 5 minutes of meditating any day.
Plus, with an overactive mind, chanting actually gives you something to do, so you're less stuck in your thoughts than you would be if you're just sitting there quietly trying to meditate.
56:03
Even if you're doing a guided meditation, I find it so much better.
So 5 minutes if you, if you only have a little bit of time, 5 minutes of chanting and 5 minutes of tuning into a frequency that is higher than how you've been settling in your life.
56:19
Like I, I do this Oprah meditation and I tune into gratitude.
OI do 5 minutes of chanting ohm and then 5 minutes of tuning into gratitude.
And like this is a story for another day.
But that was really fucking hard when I started.
But like now I can tune into gratitude for more than 5 minutes and it's amazing.
56:36
Like I couldn't even do like a minute when I first started.
It was so hard because it wasn't my default but I'm shifting my vibration.
I'm shifting how I show U like that's how you change your reality.
You change how you show up in your energy, in your actions, in your beliefs, in your habits.
56:54
You have to change.
Those things operate under the baseline.
Those things operate the autopilot.
Change the autopilot programming and you'll change your life.
I also do this thing and I'm going to, I'm working on something so that you guys can do it too.
I'm going to make it like a Mad Libs game where I've made this audio that I listen to twice a day.
57:15
And it's like brainwashing me.
It's like I'm calling it a voice note from my future self.
And it literally is telling me all the things that it has in its in, in her, all the things she has in her life and how she feels and, and how things have changed.
And I listen to that twice a day.
57:30
And that really helps shift my vibration too, because it puts me into the energy of that future version of me, and I'm not stuck in the current version of me.
So you don't have to do that right now.
Get to know yourself on every level.
Step one, Step 2, start resetting every day to realign and recommit to your goals.
57:48
Those are the ways I've been doing that.
Do whatever works for you.
And three, start taking action as the version of you that you actually want to be.
What do you actually want to do in your life?
Start now.
Little steps.
Start now.
58:04
You can do this.
You don't have to go zero to 60.
You can take baby steps.
I know I'm all fired up and I'm saying stop sitting there and saying everything happens for a reason.
It does, but it doesn't.
OK, it does, but it doesn't.
58:22
And you have to start changing how you show up and that will change your reality.
And you can do that, and it can be little steps.
And you've got this, OK?
58:38
All your dreams are possible for you.
You don't have to make a big shift if it's scary, you can do little things.
I will repeat that until I'm blue in the face, till you believe it too.
OK, all your dreams are possible.
58:54
Thank you so much for hanging out with me today.
That's it for today's episode and I will see you in the next one.
Bye.
