An easy way to get clarity

In both your life and on the next step you need to take towards living your dreams

You know you want more for your life. You can feel the dream pulling you forward. But when you don’t know exactly how you’re going to get there, it can be so easy to stay where you are while you wait for clarity, confidence, motivation, or some giant flashing sign telling you what to do next. In this episode of No Thanks, Unsubscribe, we’re talking about how to get clarity on the next step towards your dream life — without needing the entire path figured out first. If you’ve been feeling stuck, overthinking your next move, questioning your intuition, or wondering how to actually start creating the life you know you’re meant for, grab a drink, get comfy, and let’s get into it.

In this episode, we’re getting into:

• Why taking action, manifestation, and trusting your intuition are more connected than you might realize

• What happens when you keep waiting to feel completely ready before moving towards your dreams

• The role signs, synchronicities, and excitement can play when you’re figuring out what comes next

• A manifestation practice I’ve been developing and using in my own life for the past four years

• How connecting with your future self can change the way you approach your dream life

• A mini meditation to help you connect with the version of you who is already living the life you want

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TRANSCRIPT

0:00

If you set goals and then get stuck on the action piece because you're waiting for clarity on what the first step should be, or if you hesitate to even make goals because you want clarity first on what those goals should even be, this episode is for you, my friend.

I'm breaking down the myths and beliefs about needing clarity that are keeping you stuck, and I'm sharing the exact steps I take to free myself from this cycle and actually find the clarity I need to move the needle towards my dreams.

0:30

So grab a drink, get comfy and let's get into it.

Oh, hi there, we've been waiting for you.

Let me guess, you have a feeling inside that something isn't right and a change needs to be made, but you're not exactly sure what that is or how to go about it.

0:49

You found us at the perfect time around here.

We don't believe in doing things just because that's how it's always been done, waiting for someday to go after our dream life or having backup plans.

We believe in creating our own custom life full of things that light our souls all the way up and knowing that deep down we owe it to ourselves to try and make it happen.

1:14

It all starts by saying no thanks to that same shit, different day hamster wheel and unsubscribing from that way of living.

Being here means you're taking that first step towards something better for yourself.

We are so glad to have you.

1:31

This is more than a podcast.

It's a movement.

I'm your host, Carolina, welcome to No thanks.

Unsubscribe.

Hello, hello, hello and welcome, welcome, Welcome to today's episode.

1:55

How are you?

And I don't mean the I'm fine answers or I've been busy.

I want you to take a second and actually look inside.

How the heck are you?

2:13

We are so quick to just give these answers like on autopilot.

Like I can literally be going through my day and I'd be genuinely having such a great day and someone's like, how are you?

And I'm like, I'm fine.

Like it's just, it's just autopilot.

2:31

But I think it's so important to stop and actually ask yourself, how are you?

I do that every morning in my practice, and we're going to be talking about that as part of getting clarity.

2:50

Because if you want clarity, you need to start being clear with yourself.

You need to start being honest with yourself.

It starts with simple questions like how are you doing?

Side Story.

I started talking to myself in the mirror.

3:07

Yes, like a crazy person.

That's how we do because that last episode I recorded, I think it was the last one or the one before where I'm talking about Tooting your own horn and you gotta toot your own horn.

Well I started throwing Tooting my own horn in the mirror to my daily practice and let me tell you it is super weird at first.

3:35

It's super weird at first but like if you can't pump yourself up you can't expect it from other people and you deserve to pump yourself U and like you deserve to pep talk yourself.

Like there's something actually very soothing about looking at yourself in the mirror, looking in your own eyes and saying to yourself you fucking got this.

4:00

Like you are a bad ass boss.

Like I can tell you these things on this show and like definitely subscribe to the show if that's the kind of stuff you want to hear, because that's definitely definitely the definitely the kind of stuff that I talk about on the show, including saying the wrong thing.

4:23

But I really feel like when we say that to ourselves, we are setting ourselves up for success.

And more so than affirmations, like I've heard people say that you can read your affirmations to yourself in the mirror.

But like, this is more than that.

4:38

This is coming from a deep belief of I know I deserve the best.

I know that I'm capable of doing all of these amazing, fantastic things.

So why not remind myself of that in the morning?

You can say it to yourself in your head.

4:55

You can feel it with your emotions, but when you can combine all that with looking in your own eyes, holy shit it is so powerful.

I added it to my cause I I do this like check in practice three times a day in the morning, like I call it tapping into her.

5:15

I used to call it resets back when I was doing all this reset language.

But it's really like I'm tapping into her, tapping into the version of me that I want to be, not this version of me who says I'm fine, like this version, this autopilot version that's like roboting through life.

5:30

I'm actually every morning I'm well, this, this practice is tapping into her.

But then in the morning I call it like wake her up because like I, I love these like fun, like like branding things like, So in the morning it's like wake her up.

5:46

And I do a little bit different practice than in the midday.

Cause like you go about your day and you absorb other peoples beliefs, their energy, their emotions, like you just absorb it and you're not intentionally doing it.

We're just sponges and that's fine because we're made-up of water, I guess.

6:05

I don't know, something's gotta hold the water.

Maybe it's a sponge.

I'm actually not sure, but I am a sponge for other people's emotions.

So midday I call it, bring her back O wake her up in the morning, bring her back midday.

6:20

And in the evening it's wind her down because I'm winding down so that I can get some beauty sleep because we deserve it.

Let's go anyway, all three of those include talking to myself in the mirror in the morning.

6:36

I kind of do this like hybrid scripting thing where I'm telling myself how the day is going to go.

You want clarity, Just tell yourself how the day is going to go.

How do you want your day to go?

Like this isn't aside from what I'm going to talk about later.

6:52

But since the topic today is clarity, let's do that.

If you want clarity, if you're like afraid of how your day is going to go, tell the universe how you want your day to go.

And there's also the part where you have to release that because like anything can fucking happen.

7:08

But like, why not believe best case scenario?

Why not like I'm not saying expect the worst.

I'm also not saying expect the best, but set yourself U for the best.

The same way if you're planning for a party, you plan as best you can.

7:24

You're like alright I got snacks, I invited everybody I've got music.

Oh shit I forgot streamers like big deal.

Like you you, you plan your best and like you can't plan for like you, you can't rack your brain and and plan for everything.

7:40

You can try.

I've certainly tried.

You can try, but that's kind of what you're doing with your day.

You're you're just saying you're like, alright, I know what's going to happen today.

I'm going to wake U.

I'm going to get ready.

I'm going to go to work, I'm going to come home.

7:56

I'm going to spend time with the family and go to bed.

Cool.

How do you want that to be OK?

I want to wake up.

I want to like, tune my energy to like who I actually want to fucking be today.

Then I'm going to have a smooth drive in to work.

I'm going to listen to a podcast, my favorite morning show.

8:16

Like you know, you're going to say those things, it's going to feel amazing.

They're going to say some funny things.

We're going to laugh so much.

It's going to be great.

And you just list out the awesome things.

I'm going to go to work.

I'm going to talk to this person that I love seeing at work.

Things are going to be great.

Everything's going to be smooth.

Everything's going to be awesome.

8:31

I'm going to have a delicious lunch and then I'm going to drive back and it's going to be smooth.

I'm going to hit these green lights like why not set yourself U in that frequency?

And then you're going to get home and like surprise, someone made dinner for you or like maybe there's a coupon and you order something and it ends up being really cheap because it's like half price pizza night or something.

8:51

And then, you know, families going to sit down, we're going to watch our favorite show and you know, we're going to have some great cuddle time on the couch.

And then we're all going to go to bed and no one's going to fight him at bedtime.

And then I'm going to have an amazing sleep and it's going to be easy to wind down and and everything is going to be easy and amazing.

9:08

Like why not set yourself U for that, you know, Or why not sprinkle in something random like and someone's going to buy me a drink today?

Like I don't know who someone out of nowhere is going to buy me a drink today.

Like who are you hurting to believe these things are going to happen?

9:26

And if they don't happen, don't take that as evidence that you're not aligned or that manifestations didn't come true or whatever the fuck.

Just you're just setting yourself up for how you want the day to go.

And then you look yourself in the eye and be like, because you're a badass bitch and you deserve it.

9:43

And you deserve the best day.

And you deserve for things to be easy and amazing.

And you deserve to have like, money fall in your lap.

And you deserve to have people be kind to you today.

And you deserve to have things happen because why not?

Because you do.

You do deserve all those things.

10:00

So tell yourself these things in the morning and then midday.

You don't have a mirror.

You don't have to do it in a public bathroom.

No problem.

Go somewhere private, go sit in your car, go somewhere where no one's around.

Turn on the camera on your phone, turn that bitch around so she's facing you and you say those things to yourself.

10:20

You don't have to record yourself.

You're just using it like a mirror and you're talking to yourself.

That's exactly what I did today midday.

I was like, it's OK.

You know, you're not where you thought you were going to be, but that's not a problem because you're a boss.

And this is how the rest of the day it's gonna go.

Is that what happened?

10:36

No, because I like to flow with life and I was just following my interests and my excitement and time got away from me.

Big fucking deal.

Like it happens, it's fine, but when you can pump yourself up, you start going into these activities with better attitude.

10:56

You want clarity?

Start there.

Start with pumping yourself up.

Start with boosting yourself up.

Start with giving yourself what you deserve and and kind of mirroring that to yourself.

11:14

No pun intended, but kind of intended.

Like you're mirroring to yourself who you actually are.

And you can say things that you don't actually believe, but everything that I said, I believe that for you.

And I hope you believe that for you too, because you do deserve all those things.

11:34

And then I do the same thing at the end of the day.

Just to make this full circle, is I celebrate anything that went awesome that day.

Maybe you did get a bunch of green lights.

Maybe someone did buy you a coffee.

Maybe your kids surprised you with something they made at school and it warms your heart.

11:54

Or maybe your partner brought you something home because they were thinking of you.

Or they sent you a sweet message because they were thinking of you.

Or, or a friend sent you a sweet message because they were thinking of you.

Or, I don't know, any number of little things that you're celebrating.

Like, I don't even have an example right now of something random.

12:11

Like I always celebrate something like, oh, I had a really great salad today.

Or like even ridiculous things like, Oh yeah, I went to the bathroom today.

Thank goodness.

I don't know anything, You know what I mean?

Like any little thing, like celebrating those things, I don't know.

12:31

Anyway, looking in the mirror and talking to yourself in the mirror actually works.

And it's such a good way.

Like you're almost like creating the clarity you want.

You know, like we get stuck thinking we need the right answer.

That was me forever.

12:47

I was stuck.

And and you know what, it's not our fault that we feel that way because we're literally raised that way.

Your parents are always telling, you know, this is how you have to human.

Here's the right answers.

And then you go to school and the teachers are telling you here are the right answers.

So when you get out into life, you're like, well, what's the right answer?

13:03

So you're looking for clarity and you're like, well, what's the right answer here?

How am I supposed to get clarity when no one's going to tell me what the right answer is?

And like that can be absolutely debilitating.

That can be really freezing O like, how do you fix that?

I'll tell you that's what we're doing here today.

13:20

So before we get a little bit further in, I forgot to ask, what do you have to drink today?

I had a tea.

I made a tea because I was going to record 4 hours ago.

I drank that tea.

It is not sitting here cold.

It was delicious.

13:36

It was a like lemon ginger tea.

It was so good with honey.

So good.

Anyway, I just have water right now.

Stay hydrated, take a drink with me.

13:53

Let's stay hydrated.

Let's go.

And before we go any further, I'm going to pull our card for today.

I didn't do a show last week, so oops, kind of missed it.

What does the collective need to hear today?

14:23

Through prayer and meditation, I create a ripple effect of peace in the world.

I feel like that's kind of like what I was saying, not prayer and meditation because like those are great, absolutely great.

14:39

But you can do these in other ways too.

Like a lot of the self help world really prioritizes meditation.

And I know meditation is super powerful, but so is talking to yourself in the mirror.

So is pumping yourself up, Tooting your own horn, like those are really powerful.

14:57

And that creates this ripple effect that they're talking about too.

This ripple effect can be any kind of ripple you want.

You go through your day grumpy, you're creating ripple of grump.

You go through your day pumping yourself up.

15:13

You're going through with that energy.

You're being a light to shine to us, someone else so that they feel like they can do it too.

Like anything that you put into yourself, you are creating a ripple effect into the world.

So yeah, you can do prayer, you can do meditation.

15:31

Peace is wonderful.

Everybody wants to feel peaceful and happy, but I also think in the spirit of today, you through pumping yourself up, you can get clarity.

And through this practice that I'm going to share with you, you can get clarity and clarity.

15:52

One of the things that holds us back is that we think we need clarity on the entire staircase.

Like, you know, getting from point A to B, Maybe it's a staircase, maybe it's like a destination.

16:09

Maybe you type it into your G, but you still have to get there.

You still have to like put your code on, grab your purse, grab your keys, lock the door, go to the car, start the car, make sure you got gas in the car, make sure you got air in the tires.

Make sure you got your Rd. tunes.

16:25

And Oh my gosh, yesterday I was driving way too fast because one of my favorite songs came on.

Actually, I think I put it on.

I, I was in that kind of mood and I was driving way too fast.

But like, that's part of the journey.

16:43

Also, have you ever thought about how everyone says this thing, how it's not the journey, it's the, it's not the destination, it's the journey.

But like, have you ever thought about in life, the destination is the end of life?

16:58

It's not all these goals we have.

The destination of life is the end of life.

So if you think about it, every little goal you have along the way is just part of the journey.

So maybe we don't have to put so much pressure on what our goals are.

17:17

What if, what if every little goal that you make is exactly what you're supposed to be doing?

And what if you couldn't make a wrong choice?

What if it's just society who's telling you the choices are wrong?

17:36

Because like, the biggest thing for me was always that, like, I was always changing my mind.

I was always trying to shrink myself into this box of what society says is acceptable or normal or OK for life, for choices, for what I could do for me.

17:58

And who are they to tell me what I can do?

No one.

No one can tell you what to do.

They can try, but you get to decide what's right for you at the end of the day.

But I kept changing my mind and I kept doing more.

Like the family that I was raised in was very much like, you have to get an education in order to do whatever for career.

18:20

And so anytime I would change my mind on what I wanted to do, it was like, oh, I'm going to spend more money and get more education and do more things.

Or if I changed my mind and I wanted to try something else, it was always like, OK, now I'm going to spend more time, I'm going to spend more money, just like learning.

18:35

And even those choices, everything in between was just delaying me.

It was like I couldn't even try the thing because in my mind, in the, in the belief that I had, it was like, you know, I got what I thought was the clarity.

And then it was like, OK, well, now I gotta find a place for someone to train me and, and go to school.

18:53

And then, and then when I go and try and do the work, it's like, well, I don't even like the work.

So like, wouldn't it be better if you just tried it first instead of spending all that time, You know what I mean?

Like, so it's not just the clarity that's in our way.

It's like also these beliefs of what we think we need to do before we can take those steps, all these steps that we think we need before we can even know if that's a thing we actually want to do.

19:16

You know what I mean?

And like, I always felt like I was getting like shunned because, and I always felt like I was behind in life because I kept changing my mind.

And then so there was this added pressure to have clarity to be able to go after these goals and dreams because I didn't want to change my mind again.

19:36

And I know I'm not alone because I have other friends who have changed their minds a bunch too.

And it was just never socially acceptable.

It's like, oh, what's this person doing today?

Because like, they're, you know, they've changed their mind 10 times in the last five years.

19:51

And like, good for you because you don't want to sit in the box that anyone decided for you and you're actually taking a chance, you know?

But then there's also this slight guilt, like I even telling this story, I'm like, well, I, you know, wasted so many years of my life trying these things, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

20:14

But like, we need to let go of the guilt.

We need to let go of our doubts that we can or can't do something.

We need to find a way to like test these things before having to go to school for stuff.

And also sometimes like you don't actually have to go to school to do certain things.

20:29

It's like a myth, you know, So there's, I can't even possibly like cover all of the what ifs and all of the doubts right now because it it is really case specific on like what you're trying to go for.

But what I can do is help you get that clarity because your future self already knows because they're already doing it.

20:55

Even if they're doing one of your many goals before you get to like a big goal, you know, and I used to always think goals like, like I was saying, I used to always think goals were like an end destination.

But like the end destination of life is 6 feet under, so the actual things that we're trying to do are just steps along the journey.

21:18

Anything that I think my dream life is, that's not an end destination, that's just the next step.

And how cool is that to think that that's just the next step.

That's not the ceiling.

That's like the landing on like this huge staircase of life.

21:33

I don't know why stairs are stairs of the metaphors today, but like, that's just the landing, you know, you get there and you, you know, it's like a big step.

Take all these little steps and you get to the landing.

It's a big step and you can like rest O I don't know, but I do know.

21:57

I don't know why I said I don't know.

Let's take a drink.

Let's take a drink.

I always end these shows and I can't speak because my throat is so dry.

22:14

And I think that's also why I'm encouraging you to drink too, because so often I don't know about you.

So often I'll go go about my day, I'll go about my day and I'll get to the end of the day and be like, wow, I did not drink my water.

22:32

Like I had my coffee and I had a tea.

So like I had liquids, but like we need our water, we need hydration.

Because you can go what, like a week without food, but you can only go like a couple days without water.

Like we need water.

22:47

We need it.

We need hydration.

OK, here's the thing about clarity.

And as soon as I embodied this, I stopped stressing about it.

And This is why I know that I'll be able to help you find clarity too.

23:07

OK, time is not linear.

Think it is because that's what our human existence looks like.

But everything is actually happening simultaneously.

23:22

I'm pretty sure they've proven that in some kind of science.

Honestly, I can't remember the words quantum physics.

I don't know.

Everything is happening simultaneously.

And so at this present moment, you can connect with your past self and give them encouragement just like you pump yourself up in the mirror and you can connect with your future self who is also able to pump you up.

23:50

They can't tell you everything of because you have to do it yourself, but they can give you that next first step or that clarity or that you know what you need to know to get there.

24:08

You know, And for the people who know what their dream actually is, that dream is put in your heart because it is a signal being sent from your future you.

It is a strong call to you.

24:27

I believe that it is something that you are destined to do because you've already done it.

And that's why it comes through as a dream because your future self is already doing it.

And so it feels like a memory or a pull in that direction because there's a version of you doing that thing.

24:48

And so you can 1,000,000% absolutely do that thing and go after that.

And we don't need society or well meaning people or strangers on the Internet or anyone telling us that we can't achieve these dreams, especially when we know in our heart that it's something we want to do because we've already done it.

25:13

And like, who are they to block us and why are we giving them that power?

And it might not seem like you're giving them that power because you might be so ingrained in this belief system that you just believe that when someone tells you something and you just like adopt that belief.

25:30

Like that was me for so long.

Someone would tell me something and I would think I had to do that thing.

It was so fucked.

It's so fucked.

It's it's the reason that you gave your power away because somehow you were told that you needed to do things a certain way.

25:47

And then you don't even question it.

You just you get upset.

Like I would get so upset and be like, why?

Who are you to tell me what to do?

But then I would do that thing anyway.

It's just this like weird cycle.

I don't know if you're stuck in that.

Hopefully this little story helps empower you to realize that, like you can break this cycle and it's not easy.

26:09

It's not easy breaking any habits.

That's why their habits like, that's why they say it takes smokers so long to quit smoking because, you know, it's part of who they are.

But um, you can do it and it doesn't matter what anyone else says.

26:28

If you have this dream in your heart, it's meant for you.

And if you don't even know what that dream is, that's OK.

Because maybe you just have a bunch of little dreams and maybe you have so much potential that you could literally do anything and it would all be perfect for you.

26:49

It would all be great.

Like maybe that's all the clarity you need.

So let's do a quick like embodiment exercise, I guess like, well, it's not really an exercise, but it's not really a meditation, but like an embodiment practice, I guess we could call it.

27:10

So that you can feel into the fact that you're already her and feel into those different timelines for you.

And when you have any doubt creeping in, to know that you're already her.

And maybe that's enough clarity that you need in that moment.

27:28

So getting comfy.

And again, if you're driving, as always, if you're driving, be responsible.

Do not close your eyes, pull over or skip ahead 5 minutes.

Taking a nice deep breath in through the nose and exhale through the mouth, feeling into gravity, feeling your body being supported by the seat beneath you, or if you're standing, feeling your feet supported.

28:13

And justice, really feeling into this present moment.

Maybe actually you can like look around the room and your name, five things that you can see.

And I think it's four things that you can touch and three things that you can hear, and two things that you can smell, and then one thing that you can taste accessing all of your senses in this one present moment.

29:12

And when that doubt creeps in, or those thoughts or pressure of needing clarity, you can come back into this present moment knowing that in this present moment, you have everything you need.

29:31

Everything you could possibly need, you have.

And let some of that pressure go.

Maybe we take a deep in inhale and a big sigh, exhale, heart, just letting it all go.

29:57

You don't need to add that pressure to yourself.

The answers come beneath those pressures, beneath the doubts.

The answers are all there.

They all exist, we just have to look past the cloud or past the wall or past the the block, and that's what we do when we come into this present moment.

30:33

Now take a moment to think about a memory in your past that you can remember as if it happened just yesterday.

And maybe it is something that happened yesterday, something that you can remember so clearly.

30:50

Call that to mind and run through the senses.

Exercise again.

In that moment, can you remember 5 things that you could see, and four things so you could touch, and three things so you could hear, and two things that you could smell and one thing that you could taste.

31:16

Can you remember those from that memory as if you're there right now?

Putting yourself back in your own shoes from that day, what were you wearing?

31:37

How did you feel?

What kinds of thoughts were you thinking?

Put yourself back in that space.

How real does that feel?

32:00

Calling in all your senses and adding in your emotions and really puts you back in that space.

Now think about somewhere you want to be in your life, some dream that you have something that you want for yourself for the future, and connect with that future you who's already living it.

32:30

It doesn't even have to be super far in the future, but what is she wearing?

What is she thinking?

What is she feeling?

And engage all your senses again.

What can you see?

32:48

What can you hear?

What can you feel?

What can you smell?

What can you taste?

And you're not doing this to get clarity on answers.

33:07

You're doing this to get clear that you are her.

She is you.

You don't have to put arbitrary rules on timing, because it's going to happen.

33:29

If you know what's going to happen anyway, you can release the pressure for when because it's going to happen.

It's inevitable.

You can just trust that it's going to happen because you're there right now.

33:46

You are her.

You are already her, and beneath all of the pressures and the doubts, you know that because you're there and you can come back to this space anytime.

34:05

You need that confidence boost that you are her.

So coming back into this space, wiggling your fingers and toes, waking yourself back up to this present moment, maybe stretching if that feels good.

34:32

And let's take another drink.

I hope that helped give you a little bit of that clarity to know that like you are her and it's coming regardless, regardless of how, regardless of when it's coming, you are her.

35:01

But let's take a moment to talk about why we feel like we need clarity before we take a step forward because it's kind of a myth.

Like I said earlier, we think we need clarity because we were taught we were raised that way to need the answers.

35:22

But like, there is so much joy and freedom in going through life without that.

Like, you can be clear.

OK, so here's an example.

I've talked about this on the show before, how like I'll go for a walk with the dog with no clarity.

35:41

The only clarity I know is I'm taking him for a walk, but like I don't know where I'm going or how long we're going to go for or like what we're going to do because I go out there with my intuition leading the way.

So I feel like it's OK when we do these little things with no clarity.

36:03

Like I know my neighborhood, I know the town I live in, I know me, I know my dog, I know roughly how far away I am so I can still turn around like if we get really thirsty or tired.

Like, you know, like I know those things, but I also trust that my intuition has my back and that my intuition knows like the best way for me to go.

36:25

And so like, if I can step out of the house with 0 clarity on where I'm going and what I'm doing, just with the clarity that I'm going for a walk, why can't we do other things without needing this entire staircase?

Going back to the staircase metaphor, like why do we need to see the entire staircase when we really only need to say there's the staircase?

36:48

Or like there's the first step, Like we just need to know, hey, I'm going to take the dog.

You have that clarity just by waking up in the morning.

You're like, oh, I have another day on this earth.

37:04

Let's go.

You know, and you just take that one next step.

Like I actually heard someone recently saying they're like, maybe if you're too tired to have a shower, but you know, you really need one, you don't tell yourself you're going to have a shower.

37:21

You just tell yourself the next step.

You're like, oh, I'm just going to stand in the bathroom.

Oh, I'm just going to take my clothes off.

We're not showering.

I'm just taking my clothes off.

It's like, well, I'm just going to turn the water on and just see what it feels like.

But like, I'm not going to do anything.

37:37

You know, you just, you just do one thing.

It's like, or like maybe you don't want to wash your hair and you're like, well, just wash my body and whatever.

And then you just do one thing, you know?

But we have this myth that like we think we need to be clear about the entire fucking thing.

37:55

Where did we even pick that U from?

Like where did you even pick that U from?

Like let's go, no thank, no thanks.

Unsubscribe.

Like let it go, let it go, someone said someone.

This is a completely random Side Story.

38:11

Someone said that if you go into your Spotify and you go into your liked songs and you turn on the random and then you hit play, but it's not the first song and you skip to the second song, that is your theme for September.

38:32

I don't know who made this up, I don't know where they got it from, but I was like, of course I want to see what song I get.

I don't even like songs a lot lately.

Like I don't even really use the liked songs like recently, but I have so many old songs that I have in my likes anyway.

38:51

So I did that and the song that came up was Let it Go from Frozen, but not the frozen version.

It was the Pentatonix version, which I thought was so cool because I've been practicing like using my voice and like, I, I just, I love them so much.

39:10

And like, there are just lyrics in that song that like I know, but like, like I know all the words, but like hearing them again, thinking about them as like a message from the universe for September.

I was like, oh Dang, let's go.

39:27

So it's really funny that we're talking about let it go right now, but like, let that shit go.

You don't need it.

You don't need to know everything.

Don't put that pressure on yourself.

It's like I said, it's a myth.

You just need to know that you're stepping out the door.

39:44

And if you don't even know that you want to step out the store, out the door.

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry.

I'm having such a hard time talking tonight.

I'm going to take another drink.

If you don't even know that you want to step out the door, the easiest thing I can tell you is to follow your excitement.

40:07

It should be enough.

It's hard at first, but it it should be enough.

And the way I look at it and the way Bashar teaches it, and man, I love his teaching so much.

And you can apply it to anything.

It's like, OK, let's say it's food and you're like, I know I'm hungry, but I don't know what I want.

40:26

Cool, we're going to use this example.

But even knowing you're hungry, that's the first step.

And so to get clarity on the next step, you're like, OK, so follow your excitement.

Look at your options.

I have this and I have this like, oh, let's say Indian food or pizza, whatever.

40:46

Which one?

And say you want both, which one feels a little bit more exciting?

Do that thing and if you want to alley this to something bigger, if you're like, well, I don't know what I want to do with my life, that's OK in the present moment.

41:02

Like you don't have to sit there and have someone list all these options out for you.

You can literally sit there and be like, what do I know is right in front of me?

Which one feels the most exciting?

Explore that.

The answers might come for you in me exploring.

Maybe you do need to sit down with someone who's going to talk through your options with you.

41:22

I don't know.

Maybe you talk to chat GT.

I don't know.

Talk to your smart speaker.

I don't know, AI is really helpful.

They might give you some options.

I don't know.

But when you have those options, feel into your intuition and feel into your emotions.

41:39

Which one feels the most exciting.

Follow that thing.

That is the exact way that you can get clarity.

And I do have a 10 step practice, ten step.

Oh my gosh, again, I can't talk today.

I have a 10 minute six step practice that I do.

41:57

That's the I've talked about manifesting with the moon.

And I totally realized I'm like, you don't have to do this with the moon.

You can do it anytime.

You can do it to get clarity.

You do it to quiet the noise, just like what we're doing in this episode.

But it doesn't take you an hour of me rambling.

42:13

It takes you 10 minutes.

And I'm going to tell you exactly what those things are here.

But I also created a free download so you don't have to write stuff down or remember it.

You could just download it and I'll put the link in the show notes like you don't need, you don't need to take notes.

42:30

This is not school.

I've already made it beautiful for you.

I'm actually side note, so proud of how it looks.

It looks so chic and I'm like, who am I with these design skills?

Like it just, it literally came to me as a download, which by the way, is something that I've been calling in more of in my life because I never used to be able to listen to my intuition.

42:55

And now I'm trying to let her lead.

And I'm trying to let everything I do come as an align download.

And I'm embodying that more and more and more.

So I'm so proud that the design for this download, this free download that I made for you, the design came to me as a download and I just fucking ran with it and I'm so proud, so proud.

43:22

Let's go celebrate ourselves.

Toot my own horn, toot toot, let's go.

I feel like that's going to be a new thing that I say all the time now, just like no thanks, unsubscribe became a thing.

Toot Toot is going to be a thing.

43:37

I can see it on the back of a T-shirt too.

It'll say like, no thanks on subscribe on the front and the back will be like toot toot home man.

Anyway, OK, another thing I want you to know before I get to the six steps, which are so simple, by the way, an you can totally like tweak it for whatever works for you.

44:01

But like I'll give you the six steps.

But before we get there, I want to talk about the myth around motivation because that's another thing that you may have clarity and then you're just waiting until you feel motivated to start.

Apparently it doesn't work that way and I had no idea.

44:18

I follow this therapist online and she was saying that motivation actually comes after taking action.

So we feel excited about something and then we get clearer.

But then if we don't take action, then we don't feel excited anymore.

44:33

But then we wait for the motivation, which was the excitement that we already had, and we're stuck in this weird loop where we can't move forward.

But apparently if you just do the action anyway, the motivation comes after that.

So you feel excited, you get clarity, you sit in that excitement, you're like, alright, awesome.

44:55

And if you don't feel the motivation anymore, do it anyway because you already got the clarity you needed.

You don't need to sustain that excitement in order to take action.

And this is where I was getting stuck all the time.

45:12

I would feel excited.

I would tell everyone about it.

I would be so excited.

I would map out what I'm going to do, and then I would sit in that excitement.

But then when it would come time to do something, I wouldn't do anything because I was waiting for that initial excitement to come.

45:28

But the initial excitement is just your signal to go that way.

And it's cool to like sit there and hang out in that excitement because you're embodying it.

But then you still have to do the thing and the motivation, that excitement comes after the action.

45:44

It'll come back after the action.

Don't wait for it to come make sense.

It's just this horrible cycle.

So no thanks.

Unsubscribe.

We're done with that.

46:00

We're not doing it anymore.

We're going to take action.

We're going to do it anyway.

We knew the excitement was there.

That's your sign.

That's your signal.

Go.

Don't ask the universe for more science.

You're just going to get stuck again.

46:17

You are on the right track.

I'll tell you right now, you don't need to ask for anything else.

That's your sign.

Here's your sign.

Remember that from back in the day?

Here's your sign.

That's your sign.

OK, all right, so I've been working on this method for probably like 4 years I would say.

46:37

I started manifesting with the moon.

I'm pretty sure it was like 4 years ago.

And there are so many options for getting these clarity practices or manifesting what you want or call it whatever you want.

You get the clarity you need to move forward.

46:53

You get the clarity to take one step.

That's all you need.

Take one step and then look for the next step and then look for the next step and look for the next step.

The next thing you know you clown climbed fucking Everest.

OK, you just need one step.

Put 1 foot in front of the other.

I swear that was a song when we were kids.

47:09

You just put 1 foot in front of the.

I don't even know where this is coming from.

I'm just letting it channel through me.

Anyway, OK, there are so many options when you want to do these practices, but this is what I've distilled down which actually works because like I don't want to sit there and do a practice for like sometimes I do sit there for like 2 hours and you're just like in this awesome vibration.

47:34

It's awesome.

But like, sometimes all you need is just 10 minutes to you know what the next step is.

And this is what I've distilled it down to in my 20 years of learning every possible thing under the sun in the self-help world.

This is what I've distilled it down to.

47:53

OK, step one, intention.

I'm sure you've heard it before and you just stand in front of the mirror and you say this thing.

I'm open for this to happen.

I have this written in my in my thing.

48:09

Again, you don't have to write any of it down.

You can grab it for free in the show notes, and like I said, it's beautiful.

You're gonna want to look at it.

It's so pretty.

Anyway, toot toot, I am open to positive changes, transformations and growth over these next 10 minutes.

48:30

Help me get clear on what my doubts are, reconnect with myself, release what is no longer serving me and see one clear next step towards my dreams.

Of course, this will workout exactly as I have planned.

48:46

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

See, we're tuning our own horm because we know of course it's going to workout.

We're showing gratitude.

We're setting intention.

That's exactly what you get in this practice.

This is exactly what I do to get clarity.

49:10

This whole thing, it guides you through.

It's like if you want to bring candles in sense, whatever you do, you Boo.

And again, I do say it's 10 minutes, but you can literally take as much time or as little time as you need.

But The thing is, is like it's the same as when I open the show and I ask you how you are.

Like, how are you really?

49:26

You have to get honest with yourself or you're never going to have your clarity.

Like you have to have it.

And that's what we do in Step 2, Reflect on who you've been.

And I have a range for how long each of these are going to take because it really depends on you.

49:42

Like you can reflect for a long time if you want to be super honest with yourself.

If you do this often enough, the reflection won't take that long.

It won't even take you 3 minutes because you're like, Yep, Yep, Yep, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing.

Like, don't you want that level of certainty in your life?

And maybe sometimes life's going to throw you on your head and you don't have that certainty.

50:00

And that's OK.

And that's why we just need to know our one next step.

Like, oh, I need to walk up the stairs.

Oh OK, now I'm going to walk into the bathroom.

You know what I mean?

This whole shower thing, it's like you just have to know 1 foot in front of the other, you know?

50:16

So reflecting on who you've been and this is where the honesty comes in you.

I have 7 journal prompts here and just bring a piece of AER.

Open this U on your phone.

Do not just put your phone on do not disturb so people will leave you alone.

50:33

Make sure you're in a space.

Lock the door so no one's going to bother you.

Go sit in your car if you have to.

I don't know.

And you ask yourself what's working in my life?

We're starting off with the good stuff and then and then we turn it a bit.

What's not working in my life?

50:49

It's it's easy.

You can sit there and need to say what you don't want.

It's not always easy to sit there and say what is working.

For some reason it's like we're filtered to focus on the things that are bad.

But then it's funny how it's backwards when someone dies and you can only think about the good things.

You know, it's interesting.

51:05

Isn't that interesting?

Have you ever thought about that?

Isn't that interesting anyway?

What's working in my life?

What's not working in my life?

What do I want more of in my life?

People can usually answer that question and this isn't towards like anything specific.

51:20

You're just generally talking.

When we generally put these things on the AER, that's when you clear out the gunk and the clarity can come.

I even recommend I forgot this um, I even recommend doing a brain dump at 1st and like I do that.

I have a journal beside my bed.

51:36

You literally sit I'm, I sit there and I'm like, hi journal.

How are you?

I'm literally like, it's so awkward at first, but you just write anything down that comes out of your head.

You just get it out of your head and then going through these prompts again, what's working, what's not working?

51:52

What do I want more of?

Who do I have to be in order to have it?

You know this, you are her.

I just took you through that.

You are her.

And so who do I have to be in order to have it?

You know this.

You even know if something you want someone else has, you can kind of see, well, like who are they?

52:11

Who do they show up as?

You can answer this and then like, what's one step I can take to live that way?

And you can use someone else as your example if you want to be.

And even if you don't actually know, write down what you think could be, but like you can also connect to that version of of you and be like, well, what's one step that I need?

52:33

Although we're going to tap into that later in the practice.

But and then what do I have to believe for that life to be true for me?

Because like the reason you're not living that life is because you have all these beliefs and habits that are inhibiting you from living that way.

52:49

So when you find out what that belief is, you embody that shit and take that shit with you, you know?

And, and then that brings us to #7 which is what I was just saying.

What current belief about myself might be standing in my way?

53:07

You know, Because once you see that, you're like, OK, well, I don't want to be that person anymore.

Like I used to.

It blows my mind.

I used to be someone who hated doing the dishes and now I love it.

I love getting my hands wet and soapy and cleaning the dishes and having a clean kitchen and I used to hate it.

53:30

I would let everything pile up to the point where like you couldn't use, you couldn't use the counter, you couldn't use the sink because they were full.

Well, not necessarily the counter, they need to cook there, but like the sink would be full of dishes and then it would take like an hour to do the dishes.

But now it takes like 5 minutes because I do the dishes every time I'm in the kitchen and all of these things.

53:52

What current belief about myself that might be standing in my way?

Like, you can use these for any little thing in your life.

My belief was that I hated doing the dishes.

Well, once I could let that go, I could be like, well, what do I love about this?

Well, I actually love having a clean kitchen.

OK, now all I do is walk into the kitchen and think about the clean kitchen and I don't even think about not liking the dishes.

54:14

So that old belief, that old identity isn't me anymore.

And it's crazy to think that that's who I used to be.

But it's things like this that I've been able to shift.

Well, I don't want to show up like that anymore.

I want to show up like this.

And that's the whole point of this practice.

O let's Step 2.

54:33

Step 3 is clearing what you don't need because we're all carrying around things like these beliefs that I hate doing the dishes like these things you don't need.

These are the things that are in your way of your clarity.

These are things that are in your way of living your dream life.

54:51

So we released those things.

You journaled about some of them in #2 like what's not working for you?

What's a belief that's standing in your way?

Those are the kinds of things you're clearing and also like you could be holding on to them as like a physical tension or like you might not even be aware of like or maybe it's an emotion you feel or it or, or your stomach cramps U every time you think about you have to do a certain thing.

55:11

Like, those are the kinds of things you can clear what you don't need, but you can't clear them if you're not aware that they're happening.

That's why you have to get honest with yourself.

So there's a whole practice here for clearing and letting that shit go.

I like to use sound healing.

55:29

As you know, if you've been around for any number of time, you know that that's kind of like where I got my start and you can you have a sound healing tool built into your body and it's your voice and we don't use it enough.

55:48

And I didn't want to use it at first because is as far as like chanting goes, because I was so I don't know, embarrassed.

I don't know.

I didn't Oh, I can't have anyone hear me.

I I don't want them to hear me chanting.

56:05

But like chanting activates your vagus nerve, which runs down.

I think it's like this longest nerve.

I actually, I'm sorry I didn't look up the actual facts about the vagus nerve to be able to pull them in this moment.

But um, when you can vibrate your vagus nerve, that helps like and not only that, but when you're chanting, it vibrates like your whole being.

56:29

It shakes stuff loose and then you're actually able to process and let things go.

And what is super effective that anybody can do without having to get into too much is just OM.

Everybody knows it OM.

And like I have a one-on-one client and we chant OM at the beginning of our sessions and it is so fucking magical.

56:52

I can't even tell you.

It is so cool when we OM and like I don't know what it is.

My whole body like vibrates at the end.

I'm not saying you have to chant with someone else, but like you can do it by yourself.

And when you do it, you just like feel into gravity and then you, you take natural breaths.

57:10

Because I also used to think that I had to chant like ohm, ohm, ohm.

Like, no, it's not about a consistent tone.

It's about like breathing normally.

And then just on your exhale, you just go home and you like close your lips together and you feel that vibration like in your legs.

57:29

You can feel it in your whole body.

And that's the thing, they're not like invoking anything.

You're not doing anything other than vibrating your body, vibrating your your vagus nerve, calming your nervous system to the point where you're able to let things go because your body feels safe enough to release them.

57:51

That's literally what you're doing.

I'm taking another sip of water.

That's your clearing exercise.

That is actually, I talked earlier in the episode about the three things I do every day.

58:09

Chanting is in there.

I have all these fucking sound healing tools and I always lean towards chanting.

Why?

Because you can do it anywhere, just with your voice.

And it is so calming and so relaxing.

58:27

And that's what you need in order to clear and let things go.

You brought them up in Step 2, you brought your awareness, and then in step three you let that shit go.

That's Step 3, and I recommended doing it for a minute or two.

58:45

Again, you can do this as little or as long as you want.

It says 10 minutes.

You can take 10 minutes to do the practice.

You could take 15, you could take 20.

You could take however long or little you need.

And clearing these things and getting honest with yourself will help you get the clarity you're looking for, for the things that you're trying to get.

59:07

Step 4, connecting with yourself.

And I do this every morning.

It is the process that came from my out of body experience.

I've talked about it so often on the show.

If you don't know how to connect with these parts, I was there.

59:24

I was so incredibly disconnected from myself.

I had no idea what I was feeling into.

I couldn't even feel both my feet at the same time when I first started this.

I am going to walk people through how to do it because I've spent so many years collecting information on all six of these parts that I'm going to walk people through how to do it.

59:46

If you are so disconnected and you want help walking through, you can sign up for the Sovereign Self VIP list and I'll let you know when I have like a program I'm going to, I'm going to run a stupidly discounted price of the program for the first time so we can.

1:00:05

Like I don't know, figure it out because like I've never taught it before.

I've just practiced it myself and learned it myself.

Trial and error from here.

So if you're interested, it's actually made me so confident.

And so it's part of like what gives me so much clarity is knowing myself and being able to pump myself up and go from being like shy and embarrassed to being like, I don't give a fuck.

1:00:35

So I'll put the link for that in the show notes.

But Step 4 is your self connection exercise, which I call sovereign self.

But like it doesn't matter what you call it, you're connecting with all the layers of yourself.

These layers are which showed themselves to me and my out of body experience.

1:00:52

So you have your body, your mind, your emotions, your soul, your energy, and your connection to source.

So you just feel into each.

About 10 seconds. 10 seconds each is enough.

1:01:08

And every morning this is exactly what I say.

I start high body.

I feel you and I let it you know, I feel into it.

And then I say thank you, I love you.

And you go through all six of them that way.

High mind mind is the only different 1 high mind I hear you.

1:01:25

All the other ones are I feel you.

But high mind, I hear you.

Thank you.

I love you.

And then emotions, high emotions I feel you.

Thank you.

I love you.

High soul I feel you.

Thank you.

I love you.

High energy I feel you.

Thank you.

I love you.

High source I feel you.

Thank you.

I love you.

So that's it.

And you don't run through it fast like that.

1:01:44

You like high body, I feel you and you wait till you feel the whole body and then you say thank you, I love you and then you move on.

Same with all of them.

That's why it doesn't take that long.

But if you sit in it longer, I can't even describe the feeling.

It's like you're floating.

1:01:59

I don't.

Maybe you are floating.

I don't know.

Maybe we're all magical.

Maybe we are.

I don't know.

That would be amazing.

So that's Step 4, connecting with yourself, because you connected with yourself in Step 2.

Like you reflected on who you've been showing U as.

1:02:17

That's almost like past tense.

You're journaling about past and future really.

And then you're clearing what you don't need.

But this connection with yourself is like what we did with the present moment stuff earlier in the episode.

You know, you're connecting with who you are in this exact moment in Step 4, and then in Step 5, you're aligning your energy and you're doing a woo.

1:02:39

The dog just showed up.

I don't know if you heard his Jingle, Jingle on the on the mic here.

He's pushing himself up against the chair.

He wants some scratchy scratches.

OK, so Step 5 is a future self visualization.

1:02:59

And I walk you through there like you, you sit comfortably, just like we do in all the practices on the show.

You sit comfortably, you allow your breath to settle and you bring to mind one thing you're calling into your life.

And hopefully for the people who are doing this, who are looking for clarity on what they want to do next, hopefully they got that clarity in Step 2.

1:03:20

In Step 5, you're kind of visualizing that and like what it's going to look like, exactly like what we did in the practice today.

Imagine what it would feel like emotionally, physically, through all your senses.

And you don't need to force anything just so it feels natural.

1:03:36

And then you allow yourself to feel the love as if it's already yours.

And when we feel into source in step four, Source can have whatever name you want to give it, like God, the universe, whatever.

But the source is always to me, no matter what your definition is, it's creation.

1:03:57

It created life.

And to me, and from a Course in Miracles perspective, life is love.

Only love is real, like and if you think about babies, they're created through love and so like you're feeling into this unconditional love and that's what you're doing in this future self visualization because you're creating that vibration of that which is coming so that you are aligning yourself with that energy.

1:04:30

Then that is the whole point here.

Love is the radio dial.

You are a radio and we are tuning you from the country station over to the O station or whatever music because like I said, what you want isn't yours yet because you're operating as someone who doesn't have it.

1:04:52

And so you need to start operating as someone who already has it.

And that's what we do in Step 5.

You're aligning with that energy and that's why when you're aligning with emotionally, physically, in your senses, you're aligning with what it would feel like.

1:05:09

And not only that, you're tuning your frequency to love, which is Source.

And so when you're feeling into 5, into step 5:00 and you're feeling into love, that's what you're tuning into.

Source.

So I'm rereading Rebecca Campbell's book Light is the New Black, and she talks about sourcing.

1:05:27

That's kind of what we're doing here.

But to put it into layman's terms, you're feeling into love.

A lot of people say to feel into gratitude, but I really feel like that is a human construct because like, if you think about it, do you consciously go through your day grateful for the things that you have?

1:05:47

Like maybe you do.

I'm not saying not to be grateful.

I'm not saying you don't have gratitude for things, but like I don't consciously go through sinking thinking.

I'm so grateful I'm speaking to you in this microphone.

I'm so grateful I have these headphones on right now.

1:06:02

I'm so grateful that I'm sitting in this chair.

I don't do that.

Like I'm so grateful I have a couch to sit on to watch TV.

Like I don't think about those things.

They just are like, I don't think about if it's sunny or if it's raining.

1:06:19

It just is like, so that's why I feel like gratitude might just be a human construct.

And it's a slippery slope of like, you know, feeling gaslighting yourself.

I have a whole episode on that, like gaslighting yourself into feeling grateful for something that you're actually not grateful for.

1:06:37

So I don't wanna tune into if you hear squeaking.

He is now got his toy giving you an update on the dog.

I don't think that gratitude is actually the right thing.

Like I don't even know where that started.

1:06:54

I don't know where that came from, but I don't I'm again, I'm not saying to be ungrateful.

I think we should be in these positive vibrations, but like, I don't think gratitude is the emotion or the vibration we need to be in because everything is created from love and so and source.

1:07:14

And so that's what I think we need to tune into.

That's just my thoughts lately.

But anyway, that's Step 5, future self aligning your energy.

And then Step 6 is really simple, closing with, oh, pardon me, closing with confirmation from Spirit is closing with commitment.

1:07:38

So whatever clarity you got from Step 2 or Step 5, having that clarity and committing to yourself, OK, you come back to what came U for you.

And then what's one small step that you feel ready to take next?

1:07:57

Just one step, something that feels easy and doable now that you've had that clarity and you've had that alignment with one small thing you can do.

Like I said, break it down so small if you have to.

Like the whole shower thing.

I'm just going to walk U the stairs.

1:08:13

I'm not going to shower.

I'm just going to walk up the stairs, you know what I mean?

Like so it's like, what's one small thing?

And then you put it in your calendar like this is the date it's going to be done, you know, or this is what I'm going to do it and this is when I'm going to celebrate it being done.

You know, you put that in your calendar and then I know I just said this whole spiel on gratitude.

1:08:32

But like, like I said, I do think you should be grateful.

And so you just close with gratitude to be grateful to yourself for showing U.

You know, my closing statement is I have this written in the, in the download.

So I'm not making this up as I go.

1:08:50

It's written right here.

I'm so grateful for the clarity this practice has given me, grateful for the changes.

I feel grateful for this renewed sense of purpose.

I'm so grateful for the dreams know or on their way to me.

I knew it could be this easy and amazing.

1:09:06

It's all working out for me.

Thank you.

That's it. 10 minutes.

That's it.

That's all you gotta do, baby.

That's it.

It's so easy.

Align yourself with where you're going.

1:09:23

Clear the shit that's not working.

Be fucking honest with yourself.

Tuning into your present.

It's like you're tuning into your past.

You're tuning into your present, you're tuning into your future, and that's how you get the clarity you need. 10 minutes.

That's it.

Just like what we did earlier.

1:09:41

That's it.

You don't have to wait and do it with the moon.

You could do it anytime.

I don't know why I thought I could, only I could only do it with the moon.

Like if you do it with the moon, it's super powerful.

We have a new moon coming up this week, so I'm looking forward to that.

1:09:56

But that's it, you can do it.

All right, this episode ran soups long, so I hope you got some clarity today.

I hope you feel clear.

I hope you feel confident.

1:10:12

I hope you got some of my my excitement, some of my toot Toot for yourself, because you can do this.

You're already her.

You already have that clarity.

You have all these tools.

Let that shit go.

That is not serving you.

Let it go.

1:10:29

The theme song for September.

You can all have my theme song.

Let's go.

It's not serving you any of these doubts, any of these myths, any of these beliefs, they're just holding you back.

Just take the next step.

Even if it's the shower thing or if it's like The Walking the dog thing, you just take the next step.

1:10:48

You've got this.

You can do this.

You are already her, you can't make the wrong choice, and if anyone's going to tell you otherwise, fuck them.

Tell them where the fuck to go, OK?

1:11:06

You are in the right place.

You are doing the right thing for you.

You've got this.

Have a wonderful day.

You can get that freebie in the show notes and I will see you in the next episode.

All your dreams are possible.

1:11:21

OK, bye.